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Bill Watkins, Traveling Poet

Tag Archives: Health

Letter to Someone Considering Suicide

10 Thursday Mar 2022

Posted by Bill Watkins in Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Depression, Health, Men's Health, Mental Health, Poetic Blog, Recovery, Suicide, Women's Health

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Addiction, Bipolar, Depression, Health, Joy, Love, Manic Depression, Men's Health, Mental Health, Peace, Recovery, Sobriety, Suicidal, Suicidal Depression, Suicide, Truth, Women's Health

Suicidal2

by Bill Watkins, formerly suicidal
3/10/2022

Dedicated to the memory of Robin Williams

***

I would have told Robin just to sleep.  Stop trying to breathe.  Stop doing stuff and thinking you have to do stuff.

What suicidal people sometimes forget is the glory of the “mini-deaths” cleverly built into this life: sleep.  The complete cessation of activity.  The suicidal want to stop, want all thinking to stop, so… STOP!

Complications arise with drug and alcohol addiction.  Next to that, or maybe the same thing, is a bedevilment of negative thinking, insane thoughts—which any human being is capable of thinking from time to time.

There is a snowball forming, and suicidal people might start to believe the lies they are telling themselves that all would be better, if they were dead.  If they took an action to stop the heart and stop breathing… for good.

I was a victim of a suicidal depression that lasted about three or four years.  Parts of it are cloudy still, but I can now sum it all up as:  Alcoholism.

I started drinking Dad’s last sip of bourbon when I was five.  I started drinking the flammable, volatile, toxic liquid on my own with friends by the age of twelve.  I was blacking out on the substance by thirteen.

The above facts were not of interest to the multiple doctors I saw for depression at the end of the last millennium.  They saw and heard some symptoms, started to prescribe me drugs.  One of those doctors is now a recovering alcoholic, but because they missed my obvious alcoholism I sometimes think all of them were either alcoholic, drug addicted or just plain incompetent in the field of mental health.

I forgive them.  Alcoholism is “cunning, baffling and powerful,” to quote Alcoholics Anonymous—a powerful, tough, formidable foe.  I don’t blame anyone for my alcoholism and subsequent suicidal depression, but have come out of it to celebrate twenty years of consecutive sober days to distrust Western medicine in some areas.

They and all of us are fallible!

To the person who is at the time of reading this letter considering suicide, I say: “I love you. Thinking of suicide is a normal response to pain, when the pain builds and builds and sustains over a long time.  Love and accept yourself in this moment, but if you have a place to sleep that is warm and sheltered, be grateful for it and ‘die’ the mini-death that is sleep.  Stop trying so hard to breathe.  Slow down.  Do nothing.

“Do nothing for as long as it takes, with no time limit.  Based on my experience, the good rest and permission to stop will after time become a meditation or dream that makes you want to ‘go’ again.  You might get a vision that is positive.

“As far as managing life through a suicidal depression, stop doing that. Get out a piece of paper after your rest, and write down one or two things you want to do.  Eventually a bucket list (since you’ve been craving death anyway) of passions and activities.  Today, of course, you can only manage one or two of those things.

“Do them.  Love yourself for this one day.  That’s the only day that matters and exists.  If something makes you smile (that is not harmful to anyone, drugs or alcohol), note that and do it.   Repeat it, and follow that bliss throughout your day.  Your day is now your life!

“Note stuff in life we can’t control, like results or the future.  Let them go.  Maybe even consider prayer to a power greater than yourself.  Call it whatever you want to call it.  Just know you’re not in control of everything, and if you let yourself go… if you stop trying so hard and just rest… you’ll find the world continues to spin, and I do believe based on my own experience that positive thoughts and dreams are within us all…

If we wait for them.”

The Real Pandemic

01 Tuesday Mar 2022

Posted by Bill Watkins in Covid, Health, Poem, Poetic Blog, Poetry

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Alcoholism, Civilization, Covid, Health, Joy, Love, Pandemic, Peace, Sobriety, Truth

LA Filth1

Civilization.  Leaving the earth
behind.  Latching on to
parts of a big holy book,
leaving others behind.

(Because…)
Science.  Nevermind the snake
oil, the leeches, the blood suck—
Letting us know that fear
becomes a drug…

And drugs sold means lots of money.
Panic! It brings us to our knees—
from there, “Please!” many cry
not in prayer but at the deified
smocks of Western medicine.

Civilization. The real pandemic,
Cut off from the earth, from a
working faith;

We bow down to Science—
human, fallible science,
calling every theory fact,
Counting our cash,

Pointing up at hospital rooms
(great places to die)
instead of Native Great Spirits.

The Cure to believe in Nature,
in Creation.

But few can hear sound words
above the Suck,
the helicopter patrol, the
car addiction, the echoes
Streaming off asphalt’s oasis.

Stop

Circumcised

01 Tuesday Mar 2022

Posted by Bill Watkins in Circumcision, Health, Men's Health, Poem, Poetic Blog, Poetry

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Alcoholism, Circumcision, Health, Intact, Intactivism, Joy, Love, Men's Health, Peace, Poem, Poetry, Recovery

baby crying1

I’m glad they had me—
it’s been nice…
But why did they cut me—
Why am I circumcised?

In the first weeks of life:
Sexually abused. Molested—
Strapped to a table,
masturbated and sliced—

Despite my cries…
Despite my cries…
All because of a bible verse that lies—
Masturbated and sliced—

Newborn and hardly alive.

“Then what?” says I, from the
haze that dissipates with every sober hour…
I learned some sports
(while my damaged penis tried to heal).

I learned to drink a flammable
liquid on stolen land.
(“what’s the deal?”)

How could I learn to love?
Shyness when it mattered,
hurt I avoided life’s realities,
even good ones.

I imagined and abused myself,
found my way to pornography
seeking comfort for lost foreskin.

Unprotected, un-lubricated,
Seeking manual stimulation at
the point a normal, intact man
would come, satisfied.

All because the bible lied.

Un poder mayor que Covid

15 Monday Mar 2021

Posted by Bill Watkins in Covid, Español, Health, Mexico, Poetic Blog

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Covid-19, Español, Health, Joy, Love, Mexico, Paz, Peace, Salud

Habla de salud. La triste historia que nunca cambia
De las enfermedades mortales está gastado y rancio.
No puedes encantar, ni interesar, ni complacer
Insistiendo en ese acorde menor, enfermedad.
Di que estás bien o que todo está bien contigo
Y Dios oirá tus palabras y las hará realidad.
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Qué pesadilla ser un científico cristiano durante este tiempo.  Yo lo llamo un pánico gubernamental, usted podría llamarlo una pandemia global; alguien habla de gente muriendo, yo me aferro a la vida eterna.  La fe es la cura para todas las enfermedades y los males concebibles, en mi opinión, pero si la fe en un poder superior es un concepto ofensivo como hablar de política en la mesa, hablemos de la fe en nuestros cuerpos …

Creo en este cuerpo asombroso que obtuve al nacer.  ¡Está completamente equipado con extras! Un sistema inmunológico asombroso, un cerebro para poder pensar por mí mismo lo que funciona para mi camino particular en la vida… Mi camino personal hacia la salud, la alegría, el amor, ¡algunos incluso todavía hablan del Cielo!  Llámalo paz mental, eventualmente tener Fe en algo más que tu cuerpo físico, hacer cosas buenas y pensar en los demás antes que en ti mismo.

La medicina occidental vende teorías como un HECHO, que el mundo y nosotros no fuimos creados correctamente, por lo que tenemos que ponerle un cubrebocas.  Bazofia.  Nunca me he enfermado de verdad mientras mi vida estaba en perfecto equilibrio… Hacer ejercicio, vivir al aire libre, una buena dieta, una mezcla de amor, juego, trabajo y dormir bien.  Por supuesto que no.  ¡La medicina occidental (los médicos) le hará creer durante su Pánico de Virus de 2020/2021 que deberíamos tener miedo el uno del otro! Debemos mantenernos alejados el uno del otro… No debemos confiar en el aire, es malo… ¡Nuestros cuerpos y nuestro sistema inmunológico no son lo suficientemente buenos!

Bazofia.  Estiércol de caballo.  Falso… ¡No lo creo!  La medicina occidental ha estado vendiendo su aceite de serpiente durante cientos de años, subiendo por la falda de los cuerpos humanos en busca de todas las respuestas de la vida.  Para ellos y los que creen en ellos, lo físico lo es todo, el cuerpo es la clave para una larga vida, pero creo que definen la VIDA y, de hecho, la SALUD de manera diferente a mí.  Sé lo que funciona para mi salud porque vivo conmigo.  ¿Cómo va a saber un médico o un gobierno más que yo sobre mi salud?

Hemos vivido una mala historia de CONQUISTA (robo de tierras), crimen justificado por una Biblia, y en ese ambiente de civilización forzada entra la ciencia a menudo falsa de la medicina occidental y sus médicos sobrepagados y confiables.  ¿Cuál fue su alguna vez gran solución para la fiebre y la mala salud física?  ¡Flebotomía!  ¿Cuál sigue siendo su actividad número uno en los consultorios de Occidente? ¡Extracción de sangre! “Sí, pequeño Billy, veamos qué te pasa.  Una vez que encontremos lo que está mal, ¡le recetaremos muchos medicamentos saludables!”

Drogas y extracción de sangre.  Bazofia.  Médicos sobrepagados con diplomas otorgados por otros médicos, una comunidad que establece miedos y enfermedades, y luego se presenta a sí misma como la gran cura… “¿Será dinero en efectivo o crédito, Billy?”  Bazofia.  Y peligroso… El miedo es el virus más peligroso en el mundo de hoy, la religión más grande que dice tener una cura para él es la medicina occidental.

Permítame, por favor, presentarle otro, más antiguo, más sabio y mejor:

Fe.  Fe en Dios.  Fe en un Poder Superior, llámalo como quieras. Fe en la Creación, en el aire dulce del campo, lejos de las ciudades de médicos, hospitales y grandes facturas… Fe en nosotros mismos. En este cuerpo asombroso con el que nacimos, en tu propia salud cuando tomas buenas decisiones y vives de manera equilibrada. Deje las ciudades que Roma azotó con tanta violencia a través de Europa, y que Colón, los españoles y los ingleses forzaron en la Isla Tortuga, Aztlán y otras partes de la tierra antes hermosa y pacífica llamada “América” por europeos egocéntricos, violentos y etnocéntricos.

Rechaza la conquista.  Rechaza el robo a mano armada. ¡Rechaza la civilización forzada, su ruido y sus curas falsas! Mantenga la sangre dentro de su cuerpo, diga no al derramamiento de sangre y las drogas de la medicina occidental, encuentre su propia definición de salud y vida, una más amplia con la que sueña la filosofía de los médicos.  Di no al Kool-Aide, ¡lo han manchado con alcohol y lo han estado haciendo durante años!  El agua es mejor que la cerveza, un paseo por la naturaleza es mejor que una visita al médico, y la fe en Dios es la cura que esperabas que te brindara un cubrebocas sobre tu rostro.

Para los adictos a la medicina y la civilización occidentales, mis palabras pueden ofenderlos, y lo que es más, pueden reírse y desearme un daño relacionado, diciendo: “Oh, espera hasta que contraigas el virus Covid y te sentirás de manera diferente.”  Ya conseguí el virus Covid, estoy bastante seguro. Un verdadero dolor en el trasero… ¡en realidad mi cabeza!  Hay muchos fastidiosos que atrapar, pero nunca diré que los médicos occidentales tienen todas las respuestas, como dioses con batas blancas.  Aquí está mi pequeño relato sobre la captura de una gripe realmente mala en marzo de 2020:

Cogí un virus extraño… Algo que nunca había sentido antes, un dolor dramático que comenzó en el supermercado un día, luego una fuerte fiebre de tres semanas.  Sin síntomas de resfriado, solo fiebre y un dolor de cabeza horrible, que parecía una exageración del que tenía antes de contraer el virus.

Me enfermo cuando estoy desequilibrado en la vida; en este caso había estado escribiendo demasiado, ocho días seguidos sin descanso.  Cuando escribo mucho, descanso mucho.  Al descansar demasiado (incluyendo el uso de bolsas de hielo en el cuello) desarrollo un dolor de cabeza por el contacto excesivo de la almohada… Así fue como entré al supermercado ese día y agarré una gripe fea.

No culpo a nadie.  No a la niña que conocí en el autobús hacia la ciudad, cuya mamá dijo que tenía diarrea y se dirigía al médico.  No a la gente a la que saludé en el mercado, ni a nadie más en mi autobús… Este fue el comienzo del pánico Covid-19, y todos los empleados del mercado llevaban cubrebocas, lo que me hizo pensar que estaba buscando productos en la sala de emergencias de un hospital.

Había miedo a la enfermedad, mi propio dolor de cabeza y el desequilibrio, y ahí lo tienes… Tuve la cosa malvada que estaba ahí afuera.  ¿Fue Covid-19?  Nunca lo sabré con certeza, porque no voy mucho a los médicos ni creo en la medicina occidental.  Tengo dieciocho años sobrio, vivo en el campo, sé lo que es saludable para mí y lo hago (la mayor parte del tiempo).  Los consultorios médicos están abarrotados, tienen exceso de aire acondicionado y son caros.  No, gracias.  No veo la salud allí.

Sacar sangre de mi cuerpo, donde siempre pensé que haría más bien; darme medicamentos experimentales con un indicio de depresión; vender ciencia experimental como si fuera fáctica; comprometerse con la política, hacerse rico y esas compañías de seguros víboras subiendo precios ya exorbitantes!  No, gracias.  Prefiero la naturaleza, mi fe en Dios, incursionar en la Ciencia Cristiana — usando la Biblia y la oración para tener una actitud positiva y sana.

¡Pero me enfermé!  Me pongo enferma cada dos años… Lo admito, este fue salvaje, se quedó conmigo durante un par de meses de vez en cuando, solo que esa fiebre asquerosa me invade de vez en cuando… ¡Enfermedad! Lo conseguí porque estaba desequilibrado y mi sistema inmunológico estaba por debajo de su fuerza normal.  ¿Lo contraje porque alguien me INFECTÓ?  ¿Lo conseguí porque no llevaba un cubrebocas?  ¿Lo agarré porque no estaba practicando el concepto descaradamente anticristiano de SANA DISTANCIA?  No.  No.  No.  Rechazo todas esas teorías que se hacen pasar por hechos para que los gobiernos las utilicen en su legislación turbia, irresponsable, no cristiana, anti-espiritual, pro-medicina occidental.  ¿Por qué sombrío?  El gobierno de México (o cualquier otro que yo conozca) nunca ha definido la palabra SALUD… ¡Eso es un gran problema cuando las leyes tratan de abordar el cuidado de SALUD!

Me gusta la buena ciencia. Los rayos X son geniales, por ejemplo… ¡Hechos!  Me entristece el Pánico del Covid-19 de 2020/2021 por dos razones: 1.  Es mala espiritualidad en exhibición y 2.  Es mala ciencia también.  Gritar el nombre de un virus, tener miedo de él, obsesionarse con él crea un dios falso.  Las religiones que se han acobardado ante el virus deberían avergonzarse, releer los Diez Mandamientos en la Biblia y NO TENER DIOSES delante del Uno.  ¡Grita un nombre!  ¡¡Miedo a que!! Centra tus pensamientos en eso, el amor y la fe, luego diremos:  “¿A dónde se fue ese virus tonto?”  ¡Se va, como cualquier otra gripe que haya tenido una temporada de gripe!

Eso es lo que hizo mi extraño virus con el tiempo, como cualquier otra enfermedad que haya sentido.  Se fue… Fue una lucha dura, horribles dolores de cabeza, fiebre, perder el entusiasmo y la pasión por mi vida, ¡no poder escribir más de un par de párrafos en tres semanas!  ¡Malas ondas en abundancia!  ¡Incluso maldije a Dios, tengo que admitirlo, más de una vez!  Sobre todo porque en medio de mi enfermedad los lugareños donde vivo en México lanzaron fuegos artificiales a tiro de piedra de mi casa, la semana de San José, ensuciando nuestra paz con bombas.  Fui directo a mi sien, palpitando, disparando para acompañar el dolor en el pecho y los espasmos.  Siempre evito esas estupideces.

Luego vinieron los zancudos… ¡Justo cuando estaba durmiendo un poco para eliminar ese virus, el zumbido en mi oído, y tenía que cazar a los malos durante una hora!  ¡Calamidad!  ¡Injusticia!  ¿¡Por qué hiciste estas cosas horribles, Dios!?!?  Estaba enojado.  Y enfermo… Casi suicida, pensamientos destellantes de autolesión… Pero… poco a poco… Le pedí disculpas a Dios, pasó ese novenario de tontos fuegos artificiales, los zancudos me dieron un respiro.

En los grupos de 12 pasos, solía escuchar la expresión “Dios nunca nos da más de lo que podemos manejar.” Creo que hay algo ahí.  Fui llevado al borde, pero tenía suficiente fe, pensamiento positivo a través de mi entrenamiento en la Ciencia Cristiana y paciencia para destriparlo y ganar.

***

Todos somos diferentes, y mi forma de lograr la salud puede ser diferente a la tuya… Mi definición de salud es una paz mental que obtengo al hacer lo que siento que es la voluntad de Dios para mí, un día a la vez.  Muy AA de mi parte, pero en mi vida, encuentro que todo va mejor cuando lo espiritual lidera lo emocional y lo físico.  ¡Espíritu, espíritu, espíritu!  Es algo poderoso, eso y fe, y ahora declararé con orgullo que si tuviera un tipo de atención médica para nombrar, sería la Ciencia Cristiana, una religión fundada por Mary Baker Eddy que aplicó la Biblia (especialmente sus evangelios) a nuestra salud diaria.  Una anciana a la que conduje como servicio en los años noventa me contó esta visión religiosa de la salud, y me gusta.  Me funciona y tiene un precio excelente: es gratis.

Dejemos eso a un lado como la visión de una persona sobre la salud en un país grande.  Hay más de 128 millones de personas en México, por lo tanto, más de 128 millones de puntos de vista, que imagino van desde totalmente diferentes a los míos hasta ligeramente diferentes.  Todos tenemos creencias diferentes sobre muchos temas, el gobierno de México a través de su Constitución pretende permitir eso, que habla mucho de derechos humanos. Elegir a la forma en que respiro no es uno?

Visité Otsungna (para algunos Los Ángeles, California) en abril desde mi casa en México para notar que su alcalde estaba obligando a los ciudadanos a usar cubrebocas en cualquier lugar público.  Este es uno de los muchos casos a lo largo de los años en que gobiernos se han puestos del lado de la medicina occidental, llamando a sus EXPERTOS la salud misma.  Un arreglo silencioso, pero un vínculo no probado persiste, ya que sé que no veo ni siento salud en un consultorio médico con exceso de aire acondicionado y un precio excesivo.  Tengo la Ciencia Cristiana, sí, pero incluso el Gran Espíritu de los Nativos Americanos, el enfoque natural de la salud basado en la tierra, me llena de paz mental más que los consultorios occidentales, el concreto, el asfalto, las píldoras y las cirugías.  ¡Está bien que alguien que lea esto se moleste y reclame un punto de vista diferente!  Tal vez obtenga una gran tranquilidad de la medicina occidental, lo cual está bien, así que usa tu cubrebocas sin obligarme a usar uno, por favor.

Todos deberíamos tener la libertad de decidir nuestro propio camino de salud en Aztlán o en cualquier otro lugar.  Pero durante un pánico por el virus, el gobierno siente que tiene una excusa para aplastar la libertad de expresión, imponer cuarentenas y cubrebocas, prestándose al problema en la lógica que tengo con tal respuesta.  Si uno está viviendo una vida saludable, tomando decisiones positivas y caminando por un camino con convicción y fe, ¿por qué esa persona cambiaría ese camino debido a un virus sobre-expresado?  México, Estados Unidos y otros gobiernos alineados con la medicina occidental piden y exigen que tengamos miedo a la gente, mantengamos las distancias.  Esto va en contra de la práctica cristiana, me pide que crea la mentira de que es más probable que mi hermano o hermana ser humano en el camino me maldiga que me bendiga.  Nunca creeré eso, ni tampoco creeré en un gobierno que no me permita creer lo que quiero creer.

“¿Pero qué pasa con toda la muerte?”  Con verdadera fe en un poder más grande que nosotros y los virus, no hay muerte.  ¡Construye bien el espíritu y vive para siempre!

Amén

A Power Greater than Covid

26 Friday Feb 2021

Posted by Bill Watkins in Covid, Health, Joy, Love, Peace, Poetic Blog

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Covid, Health, Joy, Love, Peace

Power1

Talk health. The dreary, never-changing tale
Of mortal maladies is worn and stale.
You cannot charm, or interest, or please
By harping on that minor chord, disease.
Say you are well, or all is well with you,
And God shall hear your words and make them true.
—Ella Wheeler Wilcox

What a nightmare to be a Christian Scientist during this time.  I call it a government panic, you might call it a global pandemic; someone talks about people dying, I cling to eternal life.  Faith is the cure to all disease and conceivable woe, in my opinion—but if faith in a higher power is an offensive concept like talking politics at the dinner table, let’s talk about faith in our bodies…

I believe in this amazing body I got at birth.  It’s fully equipped with extras!  An amazing immune system, a brain so I can think for myself what works for my particular path in life… My own personal path to health, to joy, to love—some even still talk of Heaven!  Call it peace of mind, eventually having Faith in more than just your physical body, doing good things and thinking of others before yourself.

Western medicine sells theories as “fact,” that the world and us weren’t created right, so we need to put a mask over it.  Hogwash.  I have never become truly sick while my life was in perfect balance… Exercising, open air living, a good diet, a mix of loving, playing, working—sleeping well.  Of course I haven’t.  Western medicine (doctors) will have you believe during their Virus Panic of 2020/2021 that we should be scared of each other!  We should stay away from each other… We shouldn’t trust the air, it’s bad… Our bodies and immune systems not good enough!

Hogwash.  Horse manure.  Untrue… I don’t buy it!  Western medicine has been selling their snake oil for hundreds of years, going up the skirt of the human bodies for all of life’s answers.  For them and believers in them, the physical is all, the body the key to long life, but I think they define “life” and in fact “health” differently than me.  I know what works for my health because I live with me.  How is a doctor or government going to know more about my health than me?

We have lived through a bad history of “conquest” (land theft), crime justified by a bible, and in that environment of forced civilization enters the often false science of Western medicine and its overpaid, over-trusted doctors.  What was their once-grand solution to fevers and bad physical health?  Blood-letting!  What’s still their number one activity in offices across the West?  Blood-drawing!  “Yes, little Billy, let’s see what’s wrong with you.  Once we find what’s wrong, we’ll prescribe you lots of healthy drugs!”

Drugs and blood-drawing.  Hogwash.  Overpaid doctors with diplomas granted by other doctors, a community of establishing fears and illnesses, then presenting themselves as the great cure… “Will this be cash or credit, Billy?”  Hogwash.  And dangerous… Fear is the most dangerous virus in the world today, the largest religion claiming to have a cure for it being Western medicine.

Allow me, please, to present another one—older, wiser and better:

Faith.  Faith in God.  Faith in a Higher Power, call it what you will.  Faith in Creation, in the sweet air of the country, away from the cities of doctors, hospitals and large bills… Faith in ourselves.  In this amazing body we were born with, in your own health when you make good decisions and live in a balanced fashion.  Leave the cities Rome pitched so violently across Europe, and that Columbus, the Spanish and English forced on Turtle Island, Aztlán, and other parts of formerly beautiful, peaceful land called “America” by egocentric, violent, ethnocentric Europeans.

Reject the Conquest.  Reject the armed theft.  Reject forced civilization, its noise and fake cures!  Keep blood inside your body, say no to Western medicine’s bloodletting and drugs, find your own definition for health and life—a more expansive one that is dreamt of in doctors’ philosophy.  Say no to the Kool-Aide, they’ve spiked it and have been for years!  Water beats beer, a walk in nature beats a doctor visit, and faith in God is the cure you’ve been hoping a mask over your face would bring.

To those addicted to Western medicine and civilization, my words might offend you, and what’s more you might snicker and wish me a related harm, saying: “Oh, just wait ‘til you get Covid virus, and you’ll feel differently.”  I did get Covid virus, I’m pretty sure.  A real pain in the rear end… actually my head!  There are lots of bummers out there to catch, but I will never say that Western medical doctors have all the answers, like gods in white coats.  Here’s my little account of catching a really bad bug back in March of 2020:

I picked up a weird virus… Something I had never felt before, a dramatic ache starting in the supermarket one day, then a strong three week fever.  No cold symptoms, just the fever and a horrible headache, which seemed an exaggeration of the one I had before picking up the virus.

I get sick when I’m off-balance in life; in this case I had been writing too much, eight days in a row without a break.  When I write a lot, I rest a lot.  If I rest too much, including the use of ice packs to my neck, I will develop a headache from too much pillow contact… That’s how I came into the supermarket that day, and I picked up an ugly bug.

I blame no one.  Not the little girl I met on the bus to town, whose mom said she had diarrhea and was heading to the doctor’s.  Not the people I greeted at the market, or anyone else on my bus… This was the beginning of the Covid-19 panic, and all the market employees were wearing masks, making me think I was searching for produce in a hospital emergency room.

There was fear of illness, my own headache and being off-balance, and there you go… I got the evil thing that was out there.  Was it Covid-19?  I’ll never know for sure, because I don’t go to doctors much or believe in Western medicine.  I’m sober eighteen years, live in the mountains, know what is healthy for me and do it (most of the time).  Doctors’ offices are overcrowded, over-air-conditioned and over-priced.  No thanks.  I fail to see the health there.

Drawing blood out of my body, where I always thought it would do the most good; giving me experimental drugs at a hint of depression; selling experimental science as if it were factual; compromising itself with politics, getting rich and those viper insurance companies hiking up already exorbitant prices!  No thanks.  I prefer the country, my faith in God, dabble in Christian Science—using the bible and prayer for a positive attitude and health.

But I did get sick!  I get sick about every other year… I admit, this one was wild, stayed with me for a couple months off and on, just that fever ickiness washing over me every once in a while… Sickness!  I got it because I was off-balanced and my immune system was down from its normal strength.  Did I get it because someone “infected me?”  Did I get it because I wasn’t wearing a mask?  Did I get it because I was not practicing the blatantly un-Christian concept of “social distancing?”  No.  No.  No.  I reject all those theories posing as facts for governments to use in their irresponsible, un-Christian, anti-spiritual, pro-Western medical, shady legislating.  Why shady?  The U.S. Government (or any other I know) has never defined the word “health…” That’s a big deal when laws try to address “health”-care!

I like good science.  X-rays are cool, for instance… Facts!  I’m saddened by the Covid-19 Panic of 2020/2021 for two reasons: 1. It’s bad spirituality on display and 2. it’s bad science as well.  Yelling out a virus’ name, being scared of it, obsessing about it creates a false god.  Religions which have cowered from the virus should be ashamed, re-read the Ten Commandments in the bible, and “Have no gods” before the One!  Yell out One name! Fear that!! Center thoughts on that, love and Faith, then we’ll say, “Where the heck did that silly virus go?”  It goes away, like every other flu that’s ever hit a flu season!!

That’s what my strange virus did over time, like any other sickness I’ve ever felt.  It went away… It was a hard struggle, horrible headaches, fever, aches, losing pizazz and my passion for my life, not being able to write more than a couple paragraphs in three weeks!  Bummers galore!  I even cursed out God, I have to admit, more than once!  Mostly because in the middle of my sickness the locals where I live in Mexico set off fireworks a stone’s throw from my house, the week of Saint Joseph, littering our peace with bombs.  Went right to my temple, throbbing, shooting to go with the chest pain and twitches I always get around those stupid things.

Then the mosquitoes came… Just when I’m getting some sleep to bash that virus out, the buzz at my ear, and I’d have to hunt down the buggers for an hour!  Calamity!  Injustice!  Why’d you make this horrible stuff, God!?!?  I was ticked.  And sick… Near suicidal, flashing thoughts of self-harm… But… little by little… I apologized to God, that saint’s week of dumb fireworks passed, the mosquitoes gave me a break.

In 12-Step groups, I used to hear the expression, “God never gives us more than we can handle.”  I think there’s something there.  I was brought to the brink, but I had enough faith, positive thinking through my Christian Science training, and patience to gut it out and win.

***

We are all different, and my way of achieving health might be different than yours… My definition of health is a peace of mind I get by doing what I feel is God’s will for me, one day at a time.  Very “AA” of me, but in my life, I find it all goes better when the spiritual leads the emotional and physical.  Spirit, spirit, spirit!  It’s powerful stuff, that and faith, and I’ll declare now proudly that if I had one type of healthcare to name it would be Christian Science, a religion founded by Mary Baker Eddy which applied the bible (especially its gospels) to our day to day health.  An elderly woman I drove around as a service back in the ’90’s related this religious view of health to me, and I like it.  It works for me and it has a great price tag: it’s free.

Let’s put that aside as one person’s view of health in a large country.  There are over 300 million people in usurped Native American land, hence over 300 million views, which I imagine range from totally unlike mine to slightly different.  We all have different beliefs on many topics, the U.S. Government through its First Amendment to the Constitution purporting to allow for that, explicitly in the area of religion and the press.  My version of health has a very strong, in fact dominant religious and spiritual component to it.  Am I the only one?  I sincerely doubt that, as the population of Christian Scientists alone would clearly testify, a number over a couple hundred thousand to be sure.

If health has a religious connection to more than just me, why is Government so adamant that it should be involved with it?  Let’s look at that famous Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press…

The U.S. Government needs a clear definition of terms before it can be a valid legislator on “health;” perhaps one that would cross a religious line, so render it the wrong institution to in fact legislate on the topic.

I visited Otsungna (“L.A.”) in April from my home in Mexico to note that its mayor was making citizens wear masks in any public place.  This is one of many instances over the years of Government taking sides with Western medicine, calling their “experts” health itself.  A silent arrangement, but an unproven link lingers, as I know I don’t see or feel health in an over-air-conditioned, over-priced doctor’s office.  I have the Christian Science, yes, but even the Native American Great Spirit—the natural, earth-based approach to health—fills me with peace of mind more than Western offices, concrete, asphalt, pills and surgeries.  It’s okay for someone reading that to be upset and claim a different point of view!  Perhaps you get great peace of mind from Western medicine, which is fine, so wear your mask without making me wear one please.

We should all be free to decide our own health path on Turtle Island or anywhere else.  This is a hard essay to write, as I don’t actually believe in the United States as a valid government, for it was founded on armed theft and violence against the native people here.  In fact, at no time has the United States Government received consent of the native peoples to govern here that was not forced at gunpoint—and by John Locke’s definition of true government, validating itself by the “consent of the governed…” we have a failure.  That being said, one has to live by even invalid constructs, and in the case of the U.S. there is a law that’s supposed to give us free speech, and it also claims so proudly to be a democracy.

But during a virus panic, the Government feels it has an excuse to squash free speech, mandate quarantines and masks—lending to the problem in logic I have with such a response.  If one is living a healthy life, making positive choices and walking a path with conviction and belief—why would that person change such a path because of an over-hyped virus?  The U.S. and other governments aligned with Western medicine ask and demand that we be afraid of people, keep distances.  This is against Christian practice, asks that I believe the lie that my brother or sister human being out on the road is more likely to curse me than bless me. I’ll never believe that, nor will I ever believe in a government that doesn’t allow me to believe what I want to believe.

“But what about all the death?”  With true faith in a power greater than ourselves and viruses, there is no death.  Build the spirit well and live forever!

Amen

Covid Cure: Live Well

14 Monday Dec 2020

Posted by Bill Watkins in Covid, Health, Poetic Blog, Spiritual

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Tags

Covid, Covid-19, Health, Help, Hope, Joy, Love, Natural Healing, Panic, Peace, Remedies, Remedy, Spirituality, The Cure

Health1

Doctors and their usurped governments want us to hold back, hide, fall back, cringe, wear masks and fear people as a remedy for a tough virus going around town.  Negative, negative, negative.  No thanks, no thanks, no thanks.

Without a medical degree I know what health is for me because I have lived with me for forty-eight years.  Breathing fresh air in the country is health.  Visiting friends is health.  Exercise and good food is health.  Sleeping well, balancing work, love and play… Health.  When those things align well, illness cannot touch me.

Yes, we have something called an immune system.  Natural defenses against disease that are far more powerful than poorly used masks by laymen who haven’t a clue how to wash and apply them correctly.  Avoiding living as a way not to die?  That’s the doctor-led government approach, and it lacks logic.

Live well!!  Live big!  Live great days, balanced and strong.  Avoid imbibing flammable liquids like alcohol.  Avoid inhaling smoke into your lungs, or overeating… Those are good “hold-backs,” good natural remedies governments are not pushing now.  Believe in a Power greater than yourself that’s positive and loving, place that Power in care over your life!

Positive.  Loving.  Go out and live, kick up dust and make that blood circulate like gangbusters!  What doctor couldn’t say that was a healthy thing?  Or… cringe.  Hide.  Hold back and fear… It’s your choice!  Sober eighteen years my choice for today is the same one I was making before governments collaborated with doctors on the Great Covid Panic of 2020:

Live Well

Covid Panic Exacerbates Mass Germaphobia

23 Friday Oct 2020

Posted by Bill Watkins in Health

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Tags

Covid, Covid-19, Health, Joy, Love, Panic, Peace

Covid2

by Bill Watkins 10/23/2020

We were already getting kind of weird.  Fear rolling in, masks from Asia, Melvin from As Good as it Gets, OCD and germaphobia gone wild. 

Enter a possibly man-made virus from China, patents registered to treat “Covid-19” unearthed by journalists from years ago, preparing to profit from a great worldwide panic.  Pandemic?  Fear?  Who benefits from those things more than doctors and governors, politicians and drug pitchmen slinging pills for thrills to you on TV while the white coats draw your blood in hospitals, telling you what’s wrong and that they might be your only cure?

Hogwash never smelled so rank.  Masks on everybody’s face in the great nightmare of folks with Faith, folks who aren’t scared of a virus, man-made or otherwise.  The Devil excited, yelling “Social distancing!” in several different languages, here where I live in Mexico “Sana distancia” just as evil and against loving gospels and other fine principals of a pooped on past.

Fear is not healthy.  Panic is not healthy…  But the sign on the door assures me that I need to wear a mask for my “health.”  I’m still waiting for a government definition of the word…  Health is personal, is different for every single person I know…  So how in the world is a government going to help us all in the matter?  Politics have bought it, are in fact “all in” on Western medicine, are consummate buyers of the blood suck, the microscope, the assurance that the white coat and fancy degree is as close to God as we can see, so pay them and let’s call it Health.

Just like we call the bandage “Band-Aid,” the ant killer “Raid,” and the window cleaner “Windex.”  Western medicine is just a brand of health, but even you reading this may have until now just assumed it was in fact the road to health itself.  “Everybody’s doing it, so join us!  Mask out, man!  Dude, stay away from me, you might have cootie-germs!  What?  You callin’ me a germaphobe?!  Dude, it’s better than dead…”

What is death?  What is life?  And… what in the world is health?  If health and life to you is avoiding your physical death at all costs, you are dead in a very special place: it rhymes with goal, the expressing of which gives peace of mind, your soul. 

Infant Circumcision is Child Abuse

09 Wednesday Sep 2020

Posted by Bill Watkins in Circumcision, Health, Intactivism, Men's Health, Poetic Blog

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Child Abuse, Circumcision, Erectile Dysfunction, Foreskin, Genital Mutilation, Health, Human Rights, Intact, Intactivism, Intactivist, Islam, Joy, Judaism, Love, Men's Health, Nature, Peace, Religion, Sex, Sexuality, Western Medicine

Mad1

-by Bill Watkins 9/9/2020

***

I was reading Jay J. Jackson’s new book, Circumcision Scar (Hookona Books 2020), and it occurred to me I related to the author in ways I wish I did not.  In Chapter Two, Jay discusses his “Circumcision Awakening” at age twenty, when with his first intimate partner he realized what had happened to him against his will as a baby…

“My boyfriend said that he’d run into this issue before…”

They were talking about Jay’s apparent erectile dysfunction, coming to the fore at the same time he was learning for once the reason his penis was different than his uncircumcised father’s and his uncircumcised boyfriend’s.  That boyfriend attributed Jay’s “inability to perform” to “having no foreskin,”  then went on to explain, according to Jay, that his “glans [penis head] had been desensitized over time through the day to day friction it was exposed to…”

All of which ringing a sad, loud bell within myself as a victim and survivor of unconsenting genital mutilation when I was a baby.  I was reminded of a girlfriend telling me once that I was the first circumcised man she had been with, and also that I was the first man she had made love to who didn’t hold an erection for the entirety of love-making from first arousal to orgasm.

Like Jay I was an athlete growing up and exposed to much movement and friction “down there.”  And unfortunately, like Jay, I had trouble with sex, love, and found my way into a dark, unmanageable depression including prevalent suicidal thoughts—and eventually two drug overdoses.  Throw in drinking alcohol on Dad’s lap young, then with friends by twelve years old, blacking out on the substance by thirteen, and you have a good picture. 

The start of recovery at Betty Ford Center, four years of Al-Anon twelve step work, then admission of my alcoholism and my last conscious drink of that substance on March 6th, 2002—and you have a better picture.  Recovery didn’t give me instant success at love, and I was a virgin until thirty-three years of age, seven shy of that Steve Carell comedy on the subject!  A total mess, for me starting with the first abuse:

The violent removal of a body part obviously and firmly attached to my penis, obviously and firmly for a reason—whether you lean toward Darwin or God’s evolution of our species.  The penis foreskin isn’t falling off, barely there, or needing detachment from Mom like the umbilical chord.  It’s there to protect, lubricate, cover and help the penis do its job over our lifespans, praise God (or Darwin) for the miracle of our natural advantages!

But not for me.  Not for Jay.  Not for about forty percent of the world’s men, according to the National Center for Biotechnology (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4772313/).  Who or what is leading this mass, bloody exodus of protective penis skin?  Jews?  Muslims?  Christian doctors with Jewish/Old Testament bible sympathies?  Confusion itself?  The Devil?  I’m laughing now, which is better than crying in my girlfriend’s lap.  The world’s women might wonder why their man can’t keep it hard for them…

The world’s women and inquiring men too, might wonder:  Why is Viagra so popular?  Why all the surging erectile dysfunction and medication to supposedly handle the issue?  Well, I’m for logic and for simplest solutions…  Perhaps it’s time to point out the very obvious problem rolled up at the end of our noses, in front of all our often shy faces:  God or Evolution put a protective covering over the sensitive tip of male genitalia – with the female stuff our great baby-maker, and even a really fun time if used properly!

Maybe we should leave the foreskin where it is until a boy becomes a man of consenting age.  If that young man wants to join a religion and carving off part of the penis is part of the joining—so be it.  Until then, join me in denouncing unconsenting genital mutilation as a human rights violation.  Join me in questioning an ancient but questionable practice that has circumcised men with the courage to speak speaking.  Regretting.  Hoping for change, if not for us, for the next generation!

(Circumcision and Erectile Dysfunction Survey: https://es.surveymonkey.com/r/353NNX9)

La cura es la fe

13 Thursday Aug 2020

Posted by Bill Watkins in Español, Espiritual, Health, La Fe, México, Mexico, Poetic Blog, Salud, Spirituality

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Amor, Covid, Covid-19, Dios, Español, Espiritual, God, Health, Higher Power, Hope, Joy, La Cura, La Fe, Lies, Love, Panic, Paz, Pánico, Peace, Salud, Spiritual, Spirituality, The Cure, Western Medicine

La Fe2

-por Bill Watkins 12/8/2020

Cree en el cuerpo que Dios te dio.  ¡Está totalmente equipado con extras!  Un sistema inmunológico asombroso, un cerebro para que puedas pensar por ti mismo lo que funciona para tu camino particular en la vida… Tu propio camino personal hacia la salud, la alegría, el amor, ¡algunos incluso todavía hablan del Cielo!  Llámalo paz mental, vida eterna, tener fe en algo más que tu cuerpo físico, hacer cosas buenas y pensar en los demás antes que en ti mismo.

La medicina occidental tiene teorías vendidas como “hechos”, que Dios no nos hizo ni a nosotros ni a este mundo lo suficientemente bien, por lo que debemos ponerle un cubrebocas.  Bazofia.  ¿Alguna vez, lector, se ha enfermado de verdad mientras su vida estaba en perfecto equilibrio?  ¿Ejercicio, vida al aire libre, una buena dieta, una combinación de amor, juego, trabajo—dormir bien?  Por supuesto que no.  La medicina occidental (los médicos) le hará creer durante su Virus Pánico de 2020 que deberíamos tener miedo el uno del otro. Debemos mantenernos alejados el uno del otro… No debemos confiar en el aire, es malo… ¡Nuestros cuerpos y sistemas inmunológicos dados por Dios no son lo suficientemente buenos!

Bazofia.  Estiércol de caballo.  Falso… ¡No lo compre!  La medicina occidental ha estado vendiendo su aceite de serpiente durante cientos de años, subiendo por la falda del cuerpo humano en busca de todas las respuestas de la vida.  Para ellos y los que creen en ellos, lo físico lo es todo, el cuerpo es la clave para una larga vida, pero creo que definen la “vida” y, de hecho, la “salud” de manera diferente a mí.  ¿Y para ti?  Sabes lo que funciona para tu salud porque vives contigo.  ¿Cómo va a saber un médico o un gobierno más que yo sobre mi salud?

Hemos vivido una mala historia de “conquista” (robo de tierras), crimen justificado por una Biblia, y en ese ambiente de civilización forzada entra la ciencia falsa de la medicina occidental y sus médicos sobrepagados y no confiables.  ¿Cuál fue su alguna vez gran solución para la fiebre y la mala salud física?  ¡Flebotomía!  ¿Cuál sigue siendo su actividad número uno en los consultorios de Occidente?  ¡Extracción de sangre!  “Sí, pequeño Billy, veamos qué te pasa.  Una vez que encontremos lo que está mal, ¡le recetaremos muchos medicamentos saludables!”

Drogas y extracción de sangre.  Bazofia.  Médicos sobrepagados con diplomas otorgados por otros médicos, una comunidad de establecer miedos y enfermedades, y luego presentarse como la gran cura… “¿Será esto en efectivo o crédito, Billy?” Bazofia.  Y peligroso… El miedo es el virus más peligroso del mundo de hoy, la religión más grande que dice tener una cura para él es la Medicina Occidental.

Permítame, por favor, presentarle otro, más antiguo, más sabio y mejor:

Fe.  Fe en Dios.  Fe en un Poder Superior, llámalo como quieras.  Fe en la Creación, en el aire dulce del campo, lejos de las ciudades de médicos, hospitales y grandes facturas… Fe en nosotros mismos.  En este cuerpo asombroso con el que nacimos, en tu propia salud cuando tomas buenas decisiones y vives de manera equilibrada.  Deja las ciudades que Roma arrojó tan violentamente a través de Europa, y que Colón, los españoles y los ingleses forzaron en Turtle Island, Aztlán y otras partes de una tierra antes hermosa y pacífica llamada “América” por europeos egocéntricos, violentos y etnocéntricos.

Rechaza la conquista.  Rechaza el robo a mano armada.  ¡Rechaza la civilización forzada, su ruido y sus curas falsas!  Mantenga la sangre dentro de su cuerpo, diga no al derramamiento de sangre y las drogas de la medicina occidental, encuentre su propia definición de salud y vida, una más amplia con la que sueña la filosofía de los médicos.  Di no al Kool-Aide, ¡lo han mejorado y lo han estado durante años!  El agua es mejor que la cerveza, un paseo por la naturaleza es mejor que una visita al médico y la fe en Dios es la cura que esperabas que te trajera un cubrebocas en la cara.

The Cure is Faith

12 Wednesday Aug 2020

Posted by Bill Watkins in Covid, Health, Panic, Poetic Blog, Western Medicine

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Covid, Covid-19, Doctors, Expose, Faith, False Science, God, Health, Lies, Love, Panic, Peace, Truth, Virus, Western Medicine

Faith1

-by Bill Watkins 8/12/2020

Believe in the body God gave you.  It is fully equipped with extras!  An amazing immune system, a brain so you can think for yourself what works for your particular path in life… Your own personal path to health, to joy, to love—some even still talk of Heaven!  Call it peace of mind, eternal life, having Faith in more than just your physical body, doing good things and thinking of others before yourself.

Western medicine has theories sold as “fact,” that God did not make us nor this world well enough, so we need to put a mask over it.  Hogwash.  Have you, reader, ever gotten truly sick while your life was in perfect balance?  Exercise, open air living, a good diet, a mix of loving, playing, working—sleeping well?  Of course you haven’t.  Western medicine (doctors) will have you believe during their Virus Panic of 2020 that we should be scared of each other!  We should stay away from each other… We shouldn’t trust the air, it’s bad… Our God-given bodies and immune systems not good enough!

Hogwash.  Horse manure.  Untrue… Don’t buy it!  Western medicine has been selling their snake oil for hundreds of years, going up the skirt of the human body for all of life’s answers. For them and believers in them, the physical is all, the body the key to long life, but I think they define “life” and in fact “health” differently than me.  What about you?  You know what works for your health because you live with you.  How is a doctor or a government going to know more about my health than me?

We have lived through a bad history of “conquest” (land theft), crime justified by a Bible, and in that environment of forced Civilization enters the false science of Western medicine and its overpaid, over-trusted doctors.  What was their once-grand solution to fevers and bad physical health?  Blood-letting!  What’s still their number one activity in offices across the West?  Blood-drawing!  “Yes, little Billy, let’s see what’s wrong with you. Once we find what’s wrong, we’ll prescribe you lots of healthy drugs!”

Drugs and blood-drawing.  Hogwash.  Overpaid doctors with diplomas granted by other doctors, a community of establishing fears and illnesses, then presenting themselves as the great cure… “Will this be cash or credit, Billy?”  Hogwash.  And dangerous…  Fear is the most dangerous virus in the world today, the largest religion claiming to have a cure for it being Western Medicine.

Allow me, please, to present another one—older, wiser and better:

Faith.  Faith in God.  Faith in a Higher Power, call it what you will.  Faith in Creation, in the sweet air of the country, away from the cities of doctors, hospitals and large bills… Faith in ourselves.  In this amazing body we were born with, in your own health when you make good decisions and live in a balanced fashion.  Leave the cities Rome pitched so violently across Europe, and that Columbus, the Spanish and English forced on Turtle Island, Aztlan, and other parts of formerly beautiful, peaceful land called “America” by egocentric, violent, ethnocentric Europeans.

Reject the Conquest.  Reject the armed theft.  Reject forced civilization, its noise and fake cures!  Keep blood inside your body, say no to Western medicine’s bloodletting and drugs, find your own definition for health and life—a more expansive one that is dreamt of in doctors’ philosophy.  Say no to the Kool-Aide, they’ve spiked it and have been for years!  Water beats beer, a walk in nature beats a doctor visit, and faith in God is the cure you’ve been hoping a mask over your face would bring.

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