Category Archives: Education

You Can Run…

19 Tuesday Nov 2019

Posted by in Earth, Education, Inspiration, Inspirational, Poem, Poems, Poetic Blog, Poetry

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Hurry1

We pave the roads, the
sidewalks, build ourselves
into buildings stories high;

We burn the earth at high
rates so that we can go fast,
be somewhere else at times.

We can overdo comfort,
end up running away from
Truth, that we came from

dirt, corn, the simple path,
stars above, appreciation
of our common bond with

animals, nature, all things…

We pave the roads, the
sidewalks, build ourselves
into buildings stories high;

We can run, but we cannot
hide… Sooner or later, we
fall down from the comfort.

No matter how tall we build,
nothing stands unless the
ground supports it, miles

of civilization is fine until
our lives are forfeit, driving
so fast and loud we forget

we are just another flower,
who needs the sunlight, the
water like all the others,

Time to reflect, time to rest,
time to be grateful for another
moment, never hurry, always

with higher powers ahead and
in front of us.  Shhh.  Be calm,
slow down, and turn our cars

and will into the garage of
mountain air and remembering
what it is to be a human being…

Alcoholism and UCSB

25 Thursday Oct 2018

Posted by in Alcoholism, Education, Poetic Blog, UCSB

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One Alum’s Story

UCSB Gaucho Alcoholism

—by Bill Watkins ‘94 

***

Hey Gauchos!

My name’s Bill.  I’m alcoholic; went to school there at UCSB from 1990-1994, had a good time, but should never have been given a degree.  In fact, I should not have been admitted to the school—and in no way should I ever have been given a high school diploma, qualifying me for any university, anywhere.

I started drinking alcohol on Dad’s lap at age five, his last sip of bourbon.  I started drinking the flammable, colorless, volatile, toxic C2H5OH with friends by age twelve, was blacking out on the substance by thirteen.  At that time, I was sub-100 pounds, and sub-five feet tall, a solid two years from puberty.

I was a young alcoholic, a routine law-breaker, liar, but achieved in key areas at a “college prep” in Pasadena, California that somehow impressed UCSB enough to become admitted in the Fall of 1990.  My high school wrongly granted me the diploma first, without knowing who I was—or if they knew, they did not care enough to confront and change my behavior.

If you are reading this and recognize any pattern, or think you may be a problem drinker, I’m sorry—but there is good help, if you are willing to ask for and get it. One needs a safe place to tell the truth in this life, and I hope there is a place at UCSB that is confidential, safe and effective to drop truth without being judged or punished in any way for the dropping.

I had a spiritual awakening at the Betty Ford Center in Palm Desert, California in 1995, a half a year out of college.  For me that meant I told the truth to a group of people for the first time.  My greatest secret that came out that day, was that I had never had a girlfriend.  I was twenty-two, nice looking, an achiever at sports and academics, but did not know how to say “I love you,” or express love honestly.

That is alcoholism, according to Sigmund Freud: a disease of those who cannot express love.  Well, don’t wait too long to turn around, if you have symptoms of alcoholism or drug addiction—if love and its expression is a challenge, or if you look to alcohol as “liquid courage” as I used to do.  In the end I always found in alcohol consumption not courage but belligerence, law breaking begot more law-breaking, carelessness more carelessness, and I’d always wake up feeling cruddy, never any closer to being a proper man, who was honest to the Wife of his Youth.

I threw in a biblical reference right there; see if you can look it up and avail yourselves to some of my poetry, if not included in this newspaper on http://www.travelingpoet.net (my little brain baby).  I’ve written and self-published forty books, love life today, and regret every single sip of disgusting, flammable alcohol.  I think it is not a product, but a lie; please study it before you put it in your mouth or down your throat.

https://www.amazon.com/Alcohol-Bad-You-Bill-Watkins/dp/1540572250

February 7th, 1995

The scales lifted, the eyes clear.

Honesty, finally the truth at
twenty-two given with a tear.

“I’ve never had a girlfriend”
coaxed when the moment was right,
I let down my guards to finally
see the light.

You can’t be helped ‘til you ask
for it.  You can’t ask ‘til safe,
I looked left and right before I
truth supplied and saw that it was all
right—I came out!!!

I was unhappy, even though I had
friends after friends coming to my
bar-b-que party.

I was empty even though the trophies
and plaques on walls increased
and filled—attempted to fill, this would
have to be enough!

Spiritual Awakening—LORD, have me!
Done hiding it was safe to bloom,
and now, no more garden parties,

I separate the happy with the gloom
and see the world in poems—

I did not ask for permission and leave
another world behind: self-doubt, beer,
hollering around death, we put up
our hands at fear.

Trapped no more at Betty Ford
the 7th of February a.d. ‘95
ready to turn the boat around…

Trapped no more you want more
and more so ditch tomorrow for today.

They criticize you and analyze you
as you smile and accept today

***

You Learn to Care

The silver spoon rusts, and caring
departs the farther we find ourselves
away from life.

Poverty is our oldest friend, it is the
state infants find themselves in—
need to need, day to day, all five
senses supercharged and alive,
You used to care!!

To get that back you have to go back,
or forward march if in April you
find winter breezes alerting you
to change for the better.

Bill Murray in his Groundhog Day
learned to care, unlearned his stance
learned on the outside looking in,
resentments formed early in childhood,
defenses raised against abuse.

Our best defenses become our worst
defects as they sit and fester, or worse
yet grow and mold over and over
the petri dish that is Time.

The dust settles for a moment in
hospitals, jail cells, homeless shelters
or repeated groundhog days…

It becomes clear we must change.  Not
to something new but to something old:

Back to our childhood selves, the infant
that with five senses cared!  Was alive
with every movement, curious,
hopeful, asking—honest.

We learned to care, and then the day
turns and we can start over, begin
to live the adult life with childhood
spirit—Congrats, if you see this

Only God is Good

17 Monday Sep 2018

Posted by in Education, God, Poem, Poems, Poesia, Poetic Blog, Poetry

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We deify ourselves, to our
own detriment.  We throw the
ship off balance, forget our
place, and suddenly we imagine
we did this and created it all.

So we register, buy a car, sign
on with a “doctor” and do what
everybody else seems to be doing.

The goal to live a long time, right?

Only God is good, taught a rebellious
rabbi from Nazareth, and for those
who do not believe in God?  Find
a dictionary, or look at Google.com,
some place online, type in the letters,
G-o-d, and see the concept defined.

God exists.

***

Next, break away from all
convention, and all things you do
and have done because other
people said it was good.

Ads on TV splashing a flammable
liquid around in fancy glasses
and bars, telling you it’s great
to drink!

That man or woman in a white
coat telling you you have a grave
disease that requires much care,
stated with assurance and high
education, Latin terms and bull.

When was your last hike in nature?
When did you last discard your
wardrobe, walk naked in the
sun, feet on earth, taking in
the Great Spirit, a song in birds
sung, the click click of a squirrel
being chased by another squirrel,
the deer waiting for quiet to speak,
soft tracks by the creek? Jump in
it’s wet, cleansing and a reminder

we created nothing.

Only God is good, look it up—
I didn’t say it first, say it now,
not last, aware I prayed to God
for poetry and got it from my dreams,
prayed for a sense of humor,
and got it right away in a car burning
earth as it rained sunshine, cooler
than it seems.

False Gods

11 Monday Jun 2018

Posted by in Education, God, Poem, Poems, Poetic Blog, Poetry, Shootings

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Teachers and students are targets
because we have fallen for a great
lie:

That schools are good.

That schools will help a person
become “successful,” the modern
word for Heaven—

spirituality kicked out of modern
life, more and more.

God is being kicked out of politics,
schools, and even churches that
tout public prayer as good—despite
the teachings of Christ, who touted
private prayer.

Shopping centers and malls,
concrete and asphalt mixed with
high buildings to trap us and block
us from the glory of unfettered
Nature.

We construct cages of learning,
worship and living, separate
ourselves from Creation, celebrate
our human abilities and “Oh,
aren’t we neat,” then—in a panic
of lost peace of mind…

A disgruntled student shoots
through all barriers, acts out to
feel something, and tears down
our walls of Babel in multiple
gruesome murders of innocent,
unarmed people.

Walls within walls, the shots tear
town walls.

Inside the walls, if not dead himself,
the shooter feels now.

Feels regret.

And a poet wonders why he still
lives in a modern city.

Should I Scream?

09 Saturday Jun 2018

Posted by in Education, Poem, Poems, Poetic Blog, Poetry, Shootings, Tragedy

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The boy cried “Wolf!” for
the fun of it, the girl on the
schoolyard plays.

Songs sung run out of
fun the moment the class
door closes on reason.

A gun has come to school
today, because the learning
wasn’t real.  Other

people’s kids, do we care
enough?  The child broods
at the end of the bench,

the room with bright faces,
dark spaces, Dad’s drinking
at home—worse yet,

he has a collection of assault
rifles.  He seems more proud
of them than me.

Don’t go to school if it’s not
safe.  Don’t go anywhere, nor
do anything without great

thought or prayer first; meditate
on the cost, the benefit, the
right and the wrong.

In the days of old, there
were no “teachers” or houses
for learning; all was taught

from father to son, mother
to daughter, God through a
church that was a horizon of light,

morning to night, Nature
itself and its ways passed down
between people, old to young.

We want things to be easy,
part of a biblical sin called sloth
and gluttony; we forget

gratitude, count our blessings
drunk in a bar shooting craps,
jump in the hole, the cue

ball full of regret.

Wide is that path, “God” to
some a curse on the lips,
this isn’t life but a bag

full of tricks—

BOOM!

Scream, yes.  But take cover,
then stalk.  Stalk the stalker
and be better, not to kill

but to restore peace to the
moment.  Train.  Breath.  Give
nothing, be nothing, and rest.

Now listen.  Finally See the
danger, and take the natural
movements to restore order,

thanking your creator for the
wisdom, strength and agility.

Love the shooter back to
health, and everyone stop
driving cars at thirty-plus

miles per hour.  The best things
in life are slow, like the growth
of your wild flowers just

planted, the fruit tree needing
you and me.  Smell, and apply
your other senses enough to know

you never need a school to
to educate you.

College Scam

31 Saturday Mar 2018

Posted by in Education, Poem, Poems, Poetry

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John Stuart Mill was the first to go through
what we went through, the modern
liberal arts education.

He had a nervous breakdown, before any
of that education was of any use.

In all the classroom work, and work, and
work some more he had never

learned how to Live.

***

The basics in life; feelings expressed, a friend
with whom to talk about real things, no guide
asking him what his dreams were.

Parents’ dreams are another thing, and while
I believe in honoring them, that does not
mean doing their will over God’s for you.

Who is asking you what your dreams are?

If you are a child, and no one is supporting your
dreams, break out now before it’s too late.

A nervous breakdown awaits, if you think
“college” will sort all out for you some day.

Sort it out now.  Live Today!!!!

“And ascending and secure,
Shall tomorrow find its place.”

“And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in everything.”

Alcohol for burning things, youth for free expression
toward our dreams.

Obstacles, teaching Gradgrinds driving facts
as fictions, such as “college” prep over Life
Prep we must overcome

“Else our lives are incomplete,
Standing in these walls of Time,
Broken stairways, where the feet
Stumble as they seek to climb.”

Break out or breakdown, live your true
purpose or be sheep to shear and slaughter
on the way to shattered hope.

Choose a higher power, step away for
truth to shine, get strong and build your
spiritual home invincible against

the wide pound of rain that has been
other peoples’ ideas for you.

Citizenship Test Should be Required for High School Graduation

08 Sunday Oct 2017

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Diploma image

-by Bill Watkins 10/8/2017

***

I graduated from a very high-rated private school in Pasadena, California in 1990 a full-blown alcoholic heading for college, Phi Beta Kappa honors, division one sports and two drug overdoses.

A straight-A MVP drunk, incapable of intimate relationships, love and ignorant of the Law.

In fact, I routinely broke the law, at times with the attitude of entitlement that comes with being a member of a family that had money.

“What do I need with the law?  I’m a member of a country club!”

***

It’s easy to get off point here, and talk about the trappings of perceived social “class.”  Education-wise, the answer I have for rich and poor, as they journey through grades K through 12 merely adds to my last article and thought—extends from it naturally.

The only required course in all of our schooling should be Law.  Civics grows from that, and from a course and value on civics:

Citizenship.

No student should be eligible to receive a High School diploma without first demonstrating a suitable level of Citizenship.

I’m not referring to a few hours of “community service.”

I am talking about a fundamental respect for and knowledge of our nation’s laws, state statutes and even local regulations.

A willingness to be a legal member of society is more important that College.

“College,” in fact, can be a false god, the great “cure-all” sold to the young and their families.  “If you just get into the right college, all will be great.”

Hogwash.  Wherever you go, there you are.

It doesn’t help you or your college to arrive there with illegal views and practices.

***

A test should be developed.  One to test a high school senior of their law knowledge, and their assertiveness at stating their allegiance to it and our country.

Tack that on to Community Service requirements already in place, perhaps throw in an Interview with school administrators.

The interview would be an oral test to see if the child in question was worthy of a high school diploma, beyond grades received and standard extra-curricular story points.

The idea is to put more meaning into that Diploma; to make it a tougher thing to acquire.

To tell employers and college admissions staff that a young student or prospective employee has undergone great scrutiny, succeeded, and is in possession of a great Proof of Citizenship.

Teaching Law and Civics in Lower Schools

07 Saturday Oct 2017

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Law Image

-by Bill Watkins 10/7/2017

***

The only required course in all of our schooling should be Law.

To pass on law, and make it the study only of lawyers and police officers, is to keep a majority of citizens blind to what governs them.

Ignorance in law is a temporary bliss, fine in the bubble until it bursts…

Private schools and country clubs think Law may be a silly study, as money brings in a false sense of entitlement.  “As long as we are well-mannered and respectful, that’s enough…”

Public schools are set often in the middle of litter-filled, noisy squalor, and “that is what we know, let’s just get our ABC’s and 123’s!”

***

We can do better.  Strive higher.

We need Law in our schools; I have taught it to children as young as five years old. Children love numbers and codes, start with:

California Penal Code 374:

Don’t Litter.

CPC 240:

Don’t Assault.

CPC 422:

Don’t Threaten.

There’s Vehicle Code for wearing safety helmets when riding wheeled devices; kids should be brought up knowing as many codes as possible, starting with the U.S. Constitution and its Bill of Rights!

A great high school course could be made of Friedman’s History of American Law, a very readable text that could lead to many discussions.  “Is that a good law?”  “Why or why not?”  Discussions that lead to full civics reviews, field trips to City Council meetings, projects for writing councilmen and women, state representatives, Congress and the President.

Be a part of this world, not ignorant sheep, waiting for the law experts to manipulate you their way!

A good course in law and civics, schools inserting legal language into their credo’s and mission statements, are actions that will lead to the graduation of better citizens.

In fact, my next article will expound on the need for high school students to pass a Citizenship Test before being eligible to receive a diploma.

Alcoholics On Board!

06 Friday Oct 2017

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The Benefits of Having a
Resident Recovered Person
At Your School

 

Alcoholism1

-by Bill Watkins,
Alcoholic Teacher
10/6/2017

*****

My last education article was about establishing a first name basis with students as a way to maximize service to them.

Now, as I reflect more on the errors of my own upbringing—next to meditating on solutions:

I, more and more, see the value of schools hiring not only psychologists and social workers generally, but counselors specifically qualified for drug and alcohol issues.

The best ones, I feel, are alcoholics and addicts themselves, in recovery from their illness—and ready to talk about it.

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in the 1930’s, one alcoholic talking to another.  Bill Wilson from New York and a Doctor Bob from Ohio came together, shared stories, and adapted Oxford Christian group’s Six Steps to our modern 12 Steps for recovery.

12 Steps of A.A.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

***

The view within AA thinking has always been that no person can fully understand or help an alcoholic better than an alcoholic in recovery.

Alcoholics know the way down, the way out, and have a unique willingness to share the depths of our problems, while those who are not admitted drunks hold back.

Holding back, hiding truth, not being fully real is a turn off for a depressed or out-of-sorts person, and professed alcoholics often can cut through formalities to root out deep-seated issues, especially if alcohol is involved.

***

Honesty!

Unadulterated truth and honesty… is the first step toward remedy in the life of an alcoholic, and maybe in our schools, as well.

Are we graduating upstanding Citizens, healthy people inside and out?

Are we tracking these students?  Do we know them well enough?

Or are we content to see some grades and a touchdown, declare a child and school fine until the next tragic incident…

One that might have been discovered with an honest drunk in recovery on board!!

Tearing Down the Old School

04 Wednesday Oct 2017

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First Name Basis with Students
Can Yield Results

Students1

-by Bill Watkins 10/4/2017

***

I recently subbed as an assistant P.E. teacher at an L.A. charter school.

Around me in the teaching world are mostly Ms., Mrs. and Misters trying to establish a line of respect between elders and youth.

That is not me.

The old joke is to say that “Mr. Watkins is my father,” which is fine, but truly I come from the Christian ethic of putting children first.

When I show up on the scene of educational environments, the fun and dynamism exists in connecting with and inspiring young people.  Period.

I come to serve them, not the other way around, folks.

The child’s day on campus is king; truly shape and fashion that, leave no yawning gaps between for all you Longfellow fans like me.

Reach out, shake a hand.  Equality has me giving the same type of name you give me, that’s an equal meeting.

“Hello, I’m William, Bill or Billy—what’s your name?”

We are sort of equal now, but I go further to know I am cosmically lower-ranked than the child, Matthew 18 a roadmap not only to love children but to achieve heaven.

“What can I get you?” or “How can I help you?” is the constant attitude I take as I commit to making theirs the best day possible.

A trust establishes, tears may even fall—you learn that things are not great with a child’s life at home, and now the service really extends to help.

***

I graduated at age seventeen from a highly-respected private school a full-blown alcoholic in 1990, on my way to suicidal depression post-college.

The misters and missus’s that taught me did not know who I was.  I got good grades, did well in sports, got to college—did well there,

But No One Knew Who I Was.

They knew my first name, called me by it.  But I never knew theirs, there was a great hold-back, a reserve hoping for respect but ending in a failure to be of maximum service to a young person.