-by Bill Watkins 3/25/2017
According to top sources in and out of the White House, Donald Trump is here to stay.
Further research, though, into Hunch and Conviction has yielded different findings:
That, perhaps, Donald Trump has had enough and is eagerly looking for an exit strategy.
Hunch informed a Little Bird, who made his way past loud helicopters, sirens and all the horrible noise of cities to whisper earnestly of Trump’s first “resignation” discussion with family this weekend.
The news comes in the wake of great disappointment and loss, FBI investigations and Flying Nunes Acts. “Pulling a Nunes” has, in fact, become a term on The Hill for “confusing the living whodad out of everybody.”
Things really got bad when Conviction reported desperate handshakes between the wounded president and his reclusive recused Attorney General, Jeff Sessions.
Late Friday night, according to White House aides Mo and Schmo, Sessions and Trump relived the salad days of their Russian-aided campaign, playing old VHS-quality videos of rallies, trying to stir themselves and staff with a “Lock Her Up” chant.
Looking around, they remembered their fired friend Michael Flynn, and it made them too sad.
Trump reached for the popcorn, smiled at his bucket of KFC, stating somberly:
“We had a good run, didn’t we?”
Sessions started to well up, cleared his throat for a speech, but went in again for one of those monster handshakes.
Too bad America can’t appreciate Jeff Sessions’ Mr. Dick-like qualities, leave him alone on questions of racism and dishonesty in public hearings.
“You really are a great guy!” Trump asserted, prepping for another big manly handshake before Ivanka came in to remind the boys that it was “time for bed.”
As the new White House babysitter left, Trump snickered at Jeff.
“She really is quite attractive isn’t she?”
Sessions cleared his throat again, sure to come up with something great this time.
Instead went in for another shake, Trump grabbing him warmly.
Mid-embrace, Donald managed:
“Gosh, Jeff. This is nice.”
They crammed down some last minute Pizza Hut morsels, ejected the campaign tape, considered throwing in their Brokeback Mountain DVD, but aborted to Ivanka’s reprimand from outside the oval office door.
“Come on, boys!!”
And that was it. But not before Trump got deep with his campaign crony, one more time:
“I think we got about two weeks before the wheels come off, Jeff. And I want you to know: It was worth it.”
Jeff cleared that throat, sure the right words would emerge this time.
The last thing Ivanka heard on her way down the hall was the clap of hands between her loving father and his buddy, Jeff.
That Devin Nunes greeted her from a service elevator at that moment completed a wonderful picture of fear, collusion, brotherhood and lies.
Nunes said the words Ivanka craved:
“Should I put another log on the fire?”
And only the White House knew what he meant. And that was the plan.
For two more weeks.