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Bill Watkins, Traveling Poet

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Bill Watkins, Traveling Poet

Category Archives: Political Satire

Xenophobe

09 Saturday Jun 2018

Posted by Bill Watkins in Immigration, Poem, Poems, Poetic Blog, Poetry, Political Satire, Race, Racism, Satire, Xenophobia

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Tags

America, Border, Fear, Foreigners, Immigration, Joke, Joy, Love, Peace, Poem, Poems, Poetry, Political, Racism, Satire, Sessions, The Wall, Trump, USA, Xenophobia

Let’s stick together, fend off
the other.

We used to be an “other” long ago,
but not me that was my
progenitor, not me—let’s go!

I’d rather be dead than caught
in the web; liberal diversity’s not
for me, I’m a Christian, just
the type who’s white, ticked
and armed, so back off.

Someone once challenged my
right to kill.  They were invading
my house, so I had to defend, but
in the army learned that shooting
for the torso of a human was
defending so killed him.

One must defend one’s family—
which is everything.  Blood relations,
keeping America white.

They say this was native American
before it was white European but I
kinda’ think that’s Fake News.

I ignore God when I want to
and cheer at Liberals’ defeat,
this is a war and I wanna win so
let’s kill as much as we need to
let’s win.

Stop ‘em at the border, kill
‘em if we must, build a wall,
Jews will not replace us.  Divide
and conquer’s not the devil’s
line—Believe Me!!

Let’s go to the rally!  Are you going?

So much winning; I love it
how we won all those wars.

Vietnam was fake news, we won
that too!

Kennedy had it coming, I love
CIA movies and their covert ops,
I wish I could take one now,
see all those babies separated from
their mothers at the border,
I’m Christian but the kind that
likes White Jesus, and sick
of the politically correct brown
one they cook up downtown
in what will become a sanctuary
city if we don’t spread Trump
fever fast and build that damn
wall!

The Orange Negotiator

27 Sunday May 2018

Posted by Bill Watkins in Blog, Blogs, Humor, Political Satire, Politics, Satire, Tragedy, Trump

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Tags

Humor, Joy, Love, Peace, Politics, Satire, Trump

Trump2

Peace dreams of having many friends.

Flourishes in groups of one mind, or alone on long hikes up the mountain or to the lake.

Once upon a time, there was a large, old, orange negotiator, who had weaseled his way to leadership in a large nation with borders, history and clout.

He was notorious for lying, cheating on his wives, a bumbler and a bully—an avid golfer and talker, highly in debt abroad but always pushing his own business “success,” always assuring others of his prowess and abilities.

He likes to use catch phrases poker players might call “tells,” such as:

“Believe me” = I am lying.
“We’ll see what happens” = I have no idea what I am doing.
“There were good people on both sides” = I am a racist thug.
“Fake News!” = Stories published that hurt my image.
“He’s a Great Guy!” = He’s about to be fired.
“We’re going to take care of” = We’re skating by this moment, saying what makes story die.
“The incredible men and women” = I deify people, because I am myself a god.
“Billions and billions of dollars” = I am obsessed with money.
“Witch Hunt!” = an investigation I do not like.
“Many people are saying” = I am saying.
“Smart people” = People who support me.
“Total disaster” = I didn’t create it.
“CHI-na!!” = Racial slur hidden under tone to stir up racist base.
“Wiki-Leaks!!” = His savior, allowed him to “win” election in 2016 by cheating.
“Nobody really knows,” “Nobody knew” = I didn’t know.
“Lock her up” = Misogyny and misdirection.
“Build the wall!!” = I hate Mexicans, brown people.

COMBO ALERT:

The orange negotiator liked to combine catch phrases, too:

“We’re going to take care of it. A LOT of money! BELIEVE ME! But, we’ll see what happens.”

“Lock her up! Crooked Hillary!!! Wiki-leaks!!!”

And the crowd would erupt.

“Build the wall!” a code for “I’m racist like you!” and the crowd would go crazy again, lift the orange negotiator to leadership of this country.

Letter to an Atheist

26 Saturday May 2018

Posted by Bill Watkins in Blog, Comical, Humor, Humorous, Political, Political Satire, Religious

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Atheism, Blog, Comedy, Humor, Humorous, Jokes, Joy, Love, Peace, Politics, Satire, Trump

—by Donald Trump

***

What in the hell is wrong with you?

You haven’t accepted your Lord Jesus Christ?

People are stealing into this country every day, because it’s the best country in the world.  They are bringing their crime with them, their pestilence, their disease.  But no more!

Just now my ICE officers are pulling away mothers from their children along the border in a surefire deterrence scheme that will bring order at last to this chaotic, dangerous region!

I am proud to honor all the officers and their families for the sacrifices they make every day to make us Real Americans safe.  By “real,” I refer to the white Americans, whose European ancestry makes us the right people to rule this land.

Our concrete, our asphalt, our trains, planes and automobiles—the helicopters that patrol your neighborhoods and keep birds, coyote and deer away—

This is our legacy, not our shame as Pocahontas in Congress wants you to think.  I am proud of our achievements over the hollering of conservationists and nerdy green peace-freaks.  I like our noise, our industry, our coal, steel and everything that makes America great!

And there you are with your liberal atheism, your disdain for religion.  You stand proud today, then kneel during our country’s national anthem at football games.  You are a disgrace.

I hope this letter has helped you to consider converting to the one true God.  I have read a version of the Bible Kelly Anne Conway gave to me, called The Alternative Fact Bible, and in it are the tenants of democracy, law, order and peace.

We will have peace in this world, if you trust me to make some deals.

Trump3

Trump Afraid of Success

22 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by Bill Watkins in Blog, Blogs, Political, Political Satire

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Tags

Donald Trump, Impeach, Resist, Resistance, Trump

-by Bill Watkins 1/22/2018

Trump3

Success is a peace of mind, knowing you did your best.
—John Wooden

Some people are addicted to people-pleasing.

Some people are not yet enlightened.

Some people walk the wide path to ignorance, fear and destruction.

Some people are racist because their father was racist.

Some people lie a lot because their father lied a lot.

Some people are violent and support violence because their father did.

Some people are Neo-Nazi/KKK sympathizers because their father was.

Some people are easy marks to be compromised by foreign intelligence operations because they are loose with sex and are highly in debt to foreign banks.

Some people never thought of others, or completed even an hour of community service work, then become the President of the United States because the President of the United States has only age and place of birth requirements.

Some people cheated to get elected by recruiting help from a foreign adversary.

Some haters allowed that to happen because they hated someone named Hillary and another named Obama.

Some people treat objects like Women, man!  Then treat money as a means to filling a never-filled, empty soul of hatred and fear of non-white skinned people.

***

Now, about Donald Trump…

The United States of Peace

14 Thursday Sep 2017

Posted by Bill Watkins in America, Apolitical, God, Poem, Poems, Poetry, Political, Political Satire

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Tags

America, CIA, JFK, Joy, Love, Peace, United states, USA

***

We are powerless.

Upon the admission, some possibilities
develop, we get some momentum,
actually get some things done—a process
of emptying out to fill, erasing the chalkboard
to learn, preparing the flower bed, like
God’s great empty canvas in the beginning.

We ask for power or strength.

Samuel rises to the peak, asks God directly
for a king “to be like other nations,”
and although a Jewish story, I think it
applies to where we are politically all over
the world.  Our kings have let us down, just
as the LORD said they would!!

Peace and those who speak, preach and
take action to secure it—is a dangerous
endeavor.  Those who love to war, and send
their kids to the cliché that is college by waging
it: don’t appreciate the simple views espoused
by JFK in ’63, MLK in ’68, RFK in ’68 as well, then
look at John Lennon in the ‘70’s about to ramp
up against Ronald Reagan in 1980.

All murdered at the peak of their Peaceful
message to the world.

Don’t forget Gandhi.  He was an enlightened
man, trying to unify his country, tried to speak
the militant Hindu off the cliff of hate, and was
killed for it.

Those names, all of them: the greatest voice
for peace in the world on the day they were
murdered.

For that reason I wrote and performed
a comedy CD once, called “The Second
Most Peaceful Man in the World”—a dark
joke about staying away from the number one
seat, a sure bet to be assassinated brutally.

We are powerless.

Even those men of peace had no real
power beyond their exceptional education
and principles.  Somehow they got very large,
and at their largest they were destroyed…

Ideas live forever, if good ones, and so not
all is lost when triggers are pulled and
horrible acts steal our human heroes.

Ideas for peace—call them “states” that
must unite against a climate and pulse always
driving and sometimes so violent!

To know when to step back, breathe and
again admit total powerlessness allows a Power
greater than us to be in the lead, to accept
the cycle of life with grace and turn the other
cheek, to walk away from those who hate
you, dust off your feet like the Prince
of Peace would teach—

is good.

Walk away from the self, take and accept less
stuff, less food, less drink—enough being every
bit as good as a feast, Mary Poppins treats.

Peace is like the great hold-back, the space
between the thought and the act, the realization
that to do nothing is superior to doing something
bad—it all takes training, discipline, and the
ultimate awareness that no matter what we do
or do not do can range in import between
“no change” to Moving a Mountain from there
to here,

if we fast, pray and believe—your water
tasting like wine without the horrible
consequence of altering brain chemistry and
the relationship you try to have with a
jealous God not fond of sharing spotlights
with bottles of flammable liquid sold in stores
and on my TV as “drink.”

There’s nothing like a bit of throw-up in
the morning to help you kick bad habits, a
hangover in a jail cell, push-ups and sit-ups
by the side of the bed having overdosed on
what your father and mother did.

You honor them as best you can, because
you want to live a good, long life—keep the
sabbath day holy if Jewish, and if anyone else:

reserve some days, moments, years to honor
and remember Life and all we didn’t do to
make it happen.

“GOD” could just be Good Orderly Direction
for some, a hoax for others, but he or she
exists because it’s in my dictionary as at
the very least: Concept.

Other ideas for peace came from great
wars.  We had the Kellogg-Briand Pact
after World War I that no one followed,
leading to a second war, leading finally
to mass nuclear murder of Jews, Japanese
and so many other of God’s children no
matter what side residing in her seas.

Leading finally to the United Nations and
its proud World Peace charter of 1945,
signed by all “peace-loving nations” in
San Francisco, California—eventually setting
up in New York, USA—the supposed
Victors of World War II setting too many
rules, including:

The indoctrination of covert CIA two years
after the UN was formed, thus thwarting
World Peace covertly.

So often, and go ahead and blame Samuel:
The “United States” of America is not a peace-
loving nation, and should not be permitted
membership in the United Nations.

That we are allowed to host the group is
laughable, the curse God promised Samuel
about kings stealing and being corrupt coming
true in the red, white and blue flag draped over
President John F. Kennedy, murdered by his
own CIA.

Oh, I’m sorry that’s not admitted yet, the CIA
locked up the facts around that, the idea
of “classified” and Top Secret killing “democracy,”
that Greek concept in America too, a joke.

Earl Warren called himself a chief justice, while
he helped Allen Dulles cover murder, “national
security” a euphemism for “job security” amongst
the criminal covert underworld of U.S. war
perpetrators, AKA “the confused.”

I love you.

Don’t get me wrong, and that’s so much “politics”
that I’m apt to lose fans if I keep going there.

We’ve already done religion, so off we go to
see what other buttons are there to push.

Doesn’t sound like a peaceful operation, but
to tell the truth, I was the guy in the basketball
game “taking charges,” finding a weakness in
defenses, exposing them and pointing them out
to win.

And as you do, you make the other guy stronger
the next time.

That is what the drill sergeant does, I think, is
tear down to build back up the military way.

The beef I have with a military that is sometimes
a great example of team, humility and discipline
is that, quite frankly:

They are killers.

I like the sixth commandment, still, that Thou
shalt not kill.

Not ever.

Killing is the most egregious form of judging
your fellow human being.  I abstain from
judging to avoid judgment, loving others the
path to heaven so narrowly walked until the
right words find a page, your ears or national
consciousness that widen the road.

“You cannot change the world,” Lao Tzu
keeps buzzing in my ear, but then Wyatt
Earp springs up, a soul committed to action, to
keeping a clean, safe street on which children
and women could walk with their feet.

Helicopters and fireworks do not please the
LORD, I’m convinced, they are loud and causing
the deer and coyote where I live to retreat
so deep into a depleted forest complete that
I can only fight my peaceful fight,

the devil defeat.

*******

God bless the warrior, whose definition of
war is the flower sprouting from the seed.

God bless he or she who stand up to injustice,
who lock arms against the racist taunts,
the sexist remarks, the hatred in the air rising
up to create a moment’s high.

Read the UN Charter with me, raise it high
like lowly Bolivia—the last will be chosen
first, humility is good, America. Following
through on our treaties to native Americans
is good, America.  Paying African Americans
a stipend as amends for sin is good, America.

Good is good, the Commandments good.  Wisdom
of the ages is good, from Solomon’s Wife of
his Youth to Lao Tzu’s waiting until the mud
settled in the pool to see to the bottom,

make a proper decision.

Love is the golden rule, find it in your
heart, and forgiveness too.

But we are powerless.  We are nothing
without inspiration, and that pause that
allows space for prayer and lifting our
thoughts to a higher plain to assure we act
not just from the selfish Freudian id, but for
the highest, greater good

as Adam Smith tried, and John Nash did.

The atheist prays to no one, stands tall in
the flood, blames the levy and that’s okay.

Inherent truths rain down on the ignorant
and enlightened in equal spray, the first
being that words are fictions, never doing

justice to the essence of leaf on pool, the
dance of Spring following a harsh un-ending
swirl around the curls and furls of Winter’s
harsh breath, you’re sure of yourself until
a strange dream takes you somewhere else,

we bellow and yell at each other to change,
nothing and no one changing until close
to the grave we honor a fallen friend by
giving up the thing that we think killed them,

only… no one is dead that strove to spread
even the most benign cell of You, the beginning
of Truth trying to end not war but the disillusion
and ignorance that started it.

The falsehood of men being men by killing and
fighting other men is the same as calling the
boy queer for kissing Dad on the cheek, he
thought he was neat, we must listen to the
real prophets whose words mean something,
survived the ages to tell us something…

Moses, David, Solomon, Jesus, the Tao Te Ching.

Oh, you can close your ears and fight upstream!

You can invent the United Nations of peace while
you steal their wallets, plot to kill and feed the
festering fear of losing all your things!

I love you, even when you can’t do what
you seem to seem, God bless you even in the
godless hate that is a seed to the flame of change—
We will overcome our worst members when
we bow to hear their complaint, take a blow

on the cheek, cry a bit and kiss them back from
the grave of chance, the last dance of the
prophets of peace who were murdered while
their ideas inspired the next dreamer to
advance.

I love Bill Maher without the slicked back
hair, hungover or sick, calling out, we’d change
his diapers, get him water and wash his feet.

He rails at the Christian hearts that beat, and
we understand, because most of us too used
to engage in hate.

We want you in our army, Bill, and any other
soldier in heat, those convinced God is a made-up
game for adults to console themselves about
not being able to compete.

We laugh until the pot runs out, and there’s
a real lull and time to think.

We can live until we are abandoned at the
home, getting changed by strangers, or…

study the way of the 800-year old Jewish
man being “gathered to his people,” a glorious
send-off of “Thanks, Dad!” “Thanks, Grandpa!!”

Thank you for all that you did and do, you
will always be here in us and in our hearts,
we let you go, and you must trust us to
keep your dream alive.

And the old man dies, not a sad good-bye, but
more like a winning sacrament completed,
a perfect game thrown before the field is
for the storm upcoming sheeted, we call
it all kinds of disease and names, but so many
just living as zombies past their call to go,

hospitals getting rich instead of counseling
family members to whether alone or with
a minister bring out the red carpet toward
heaven and watch their greyed loved one
walk upon it, away from us to God.

Dying is living, the best part of us lives
forever, if that Mrs. Chickian effort we made,
if that John Woodenian peace of mind we
achieve, knowing we did our very best…

Whether with words, deeds or actions or
all three, the road to the United States of
Peace goes through your own little heart.

The focus there, the heart that cares, we have
a chance to spread your own version of
God both here and there.

God bless…..

Pee Drops Welching on My Head

29 Tuesday Aug 2017

Posted by Bill Watkins in Poem, Poems, Poetry, Political, Political Satire

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace, Samuel, Trump

The rain has stopped on the west coast,
bringing triple digit heat while Texas
floods pass the last high water line.

I hope they mark where the water
reached this time, re-build houses behind
it.

Trump is rumored to have had a bath of
yellow rain in a Russian hotel room formerly
rented out to his sworn enemy, Barack Obama.

Day after day we live out the curse God foretold
to his servant, Samuel.

“You wanted to have kings, so this is what you
get” was the basic gist of the lecture.

God is my king; you are welcome to make
that decision as well.  I started making it in
12-step groups, started telling the truth, which
is what the rest of this poem will be dedicated to,
line by line.

Ask your doctor to be sure, but I think the left
seems more educated than the right.  I used to
say, “Let’s go kill some Iraqis!” then went to
college, changed my tune.

The Christopher Steele dossier on Donald
Trump may save us, but then again—it may
just cause us more drowsiness, upset stomach,
farting, belching and more weird welching on
bets.

“Look back, get hit in dee front” is an old
reggae song I like, martial arts defense starting
with Okinawan “gan,” or eyesight.

Be strong.  Be smart, don’t ride your bikes
on a sideWALK, stop scaring ladies, their babies
and me as I walk, thinking about stuff for my
next poem.

“I timed my obstruction of justice for when the
ratings were highest.”

“Yes, right during the Texas flood.  Yes…” sayeth the
curse of Samuel.

Helicopters may be the worst invention of all-
time, cars are close; splitting the atom was no peach,
and then I’d want to mention the CIA.

I wish inanimate objects would do what you want
them to do.  This whole thing takes so much
coordination.  Collusion!!

Education!!!  Even potty training reviewed, morality
and doing the right thing.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife’s pee.
Nor her political candidate.  Nor to be a jack
of all trades without learning one well.

Build a corrupt empire, owe lots of money, talk
in hyperbole all you want; Trump’s major
deal may be with prosecutors soon…

“You or your son, Mr. Trump?”

“We were just talking about adoption.”

“And the golden shower?”

“It was an adoption party…”

“And you expect us to believe that?”

“Yes.”

“Anything else?”

“Yer fake news!!”

“I’m sorry?”

“Yer fired.”

“Your honor, we would like to enter an insanity plea.”

God bless us all back to God, sanity.

The educated choice!!

Top Ten Reasons the United States is Not Exceptional

25 Tuesday Apr 2017

Posted by Bill Watkins in Blogs, Political, Political Satire

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

-by Bill Watkins 4/25/2017

American Exceptionalism1

10.  We were founded on Native blood.

9.  We too often forget God, Great Spirit, and Nature.

8.  Democracy, or “People-Rule,” is a fallacy.  People are not that powerful.

7.  We condoned the sin of Slavery for almost ninety years, and still have not paid for that sin.

6.  We allowed the CIA to kill John F. Kennedy.

5.  We still allow the CIA to carry on who-knows-what with the blank check we give them.

4.  We still push Native America out of their lands with every day we ignore history.

3.  We still mistreat African-Americans, who deserve reparations for what happened to their ancestors.

2.  Philippines.  Korea.  Iran.  Vietnam.  Guatemala.  El Salvador.  Chile.  World War I Propaganda and censorship.  Truman’s two bombs on innocent civilians.

1.  The formal founding of the “Central Intelligence Agency” with cloak and dagger ceremony at the White House in 1947, killing the UN Charter of 1945 and its goal of World Peace.

Founding Fathers -- Native American1

Notes and Hope:

We could be a great Nation.

The day we stop.  Listen to God.  The Native Nations.  The United Nations…

Trump Ready to Kiss His Job Goodbye

25 Saturday Mar 2017

Posted by Bill Watkins in Blogs, Humor, Political, Political Satire, Satire

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump, Jeff Sessions, Joy, Love, Peace

-by Bill Watkins 3/25/2017

Trump3

According to top sources in and out of the White House, Donald Trump is here to stay.

Further research, though, into Hunch and Conviction has yielded different findings:

That, perhaps, Donald Trump has had enough and is eagerly looking for an exit strategy.

Hunch informed a Little Bird, who made his way past loud helicopters, sirens and all the horrible noise of cities to whisper earnestly of Trump’s first “resignation” discussion with family this weekend.

The news comes in the wake of great disappointment and loss, FBI investigations and Flying Nunes Acts.  “Pulling a Nunes” has, in fact, become a term on The Hill for “confusing the living whodad out of everybody.”

Things really got bad when Conviction reported desperate handshakes between the wounded president and his reclusive recused Attorney General, Jeff Sessions.

Late Friday night, according to White House aides Mo and Schmo, Sessions and Trump relived the salad days of their Russian-aided campaign, playing old VHS-quality videos of rallies, trying to stir themselves and staff with a “Lock Her Up” chant.

Looking around, they remembered their fired friend Michael Flynn, and it made them too sad.

Trump reached for the popcorn, smiled at his bucket of KFC, stating somberly:

“We had a good run, didn’t we?”

Sessions started to well up, cleared his throat for a speech, but went in again for one of those monster handshakes.

Too bad America can’t appreciate Jeff Sessions’ Mr. Dick-like qualities, leave him alone on questions of racism and dishonesty in public hearings.

“You really are a great guy!” Trump asserted, prepping for another big manly handshake before Ivanka came in to remind the boys that it was “time for bed.”

As the new White House babysitter left, Trump snickered at Jeff.

“She really is quite attractive isn’t she?”

Sessions cleared his throat again, sure to come up with something great this time.

Instead went in for another shake, Trump grabbing him warmly.

Mid-embrace, Donald managed:

“Gosh, Jeff.  This is nice.”

They crammed down some last minute Pizza Hut morsels, ejected the campaign tape, considered throwing in their Brokeback Mountain DVD, but aborted to Ivanka’s reprimand from outside the oval office door.

“Come on, boys!!”

And that was it.  But not before Trump got deep with his campaign crony, one more time:

“I think we got about two weeks before the wheels come off, Jeff.  And I want you to know: It was worth it.”

Jeff cleared that throat, sure the right words would emerge this time.

The last thing Ivanka heard on her way down the hall was the clap of hands between her loving father and his buddy, Jeff.

That Devin Nunes greeted her from a service elevator at that moment completed a wonderful picture of fear, collusion, brotherhood and lies.

Nunes said the words Ivanka craved:

“Should I put another log on the fire?”

And only the White House knew what he meant.  And that was the plan.

For two more weeks.

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