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Bill Watkins, Traveling Poet

Monthly Archives: February 2014

By Tracy and Bill

28 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Divorce, Growing Up

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

Sandwiches of Pain

Sawdust on the floor, parents take
you out for a ride. The ride
stops, they let you out
at a street called divorce.

I don’t know the word for pain.

Dolor. Confused I look to the door;
older sister telling younger brother
that Mom and Dad are leaving each
other making little guy think they
were leaving him.

Self-pity. Let’s talk about pain:
locked in a closet, hit with a belt,
chastised for coming home late
with Dad, late after a fun weekend,
back to the grind and grounded
forever until 18.

I recall a wooden spoon she hit me
with, I forgive her, Mom was confused
this memory a ruse unless I put it
to blues.

Thrown to the floor, my head split
open.

“Don’t care,” said Tracy.

“I’ll care forever,” me to Tracy.

I trust you, I love you. Tracy

The Temple of Ramis

27 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Alcoholism, High School, Junior High, Middle School, Peer Pressure, Tribute

≈ Leave a comment

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Harold Ramis, Shirley Temple

To the clueless and scared, hello.
People all around, classmates kissing,
stealing off doing secret things
claiming cool as if elections to the seat
were won, you lost, get in line
“follow me.”

Smoke something, a clove, a cig,
a joint even!

Drink something, a beer, Mom and
Dad’s liquor cabinet steal in,
impress the girl you like by messing
up, breaking rules and law.  Go crazy.

The swirl swirls and you happen to
be a late bloomer, are smaller than
the others, scream inside to hide
the pain without, you look up
at life and find it’s not exactly
what you want or like.  But you
have your moments, and are assured
by rewards and confirmed sideways
glances at siblings and friends and family
that you are in the right place.

You could be wrong.

Horror movies, roller coasters, it’s
okay not to like them.  Beer does
taste weird, alcohol is disgusting.
Cigarettes and all smoking is bad
for you, walk away, the secret “cool
club” is insecure, needing your
admiration and envy to be cool.
Step away and be you…

What is “you?”

You may not know yet, but ask
anyway, the question over and
over again, “what do you want to
be?”  Who and what, how and
with whom, decide and make it happen.

Funny, the alcoholic cannot do this,
and here enters the great collaboration
with higher power, spirituality
and asking and receiving.

We can want all we want, and strive,
but still need good weather.

Appeal to a power greater.  Afraid
you will be a virgin all your short life?

I was one until thirty-three years of age,
a tweaked and sick person, incapable
of being honest until I found a group
of people worthy of my trust.

Betty Ford was not just a president’s
wife, recovery is not just for the
starring addict but for the entire
“family.”  “Those who do the will
of God…”

How do you know what is the will of
God?  It’s what happens.

Ask Ramis, maker of movies, Shirley
Temple the same.  Names in the sand,
written glory Longfellow Frost and
Shakespeare having a beer before
seeing the light of what we have here.

Dispelled fear, unrelenting honesty
and truth galvanizing and gouging
holes in the pie of expectation and
peer pressure!!

Stop, breathe, accept yourself in
your worst lonely truth.

Complete Sochi 2014:

23 Sunday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Olympics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

SOCHI 2014

I. Week One

All’s well that bodes well, this
Olympics might be about weather
whether we like it or not. The terrorists
are watching at home on their big
screens bought for events, Costco
nightmares coming true, the spirit of
Elvis, dynamite, true TV legends, the
Super Bowl is over.

Women dominate in ways
and waves, winter wondering why
we don’t do this every year. Competitors
do, they practice and sweat while
the rest of us do what we do, then
every four years we remember
what we love so much every four years.

The brother supports a snow skier,
mogul freestyling remembering if
it wasn’t for his bro’s handicap, his
bro would be the best in the world
at his sport.

Bode himself draws from a deeper
well than he’d wish this time around;
who wants to remember loss? But when
we do, the rewards are great, the tears
ice, turn to snow, and down them
champions ski to more medals, shining bright.

God bless the snow! Ice supplying reasons
for speed, Netherlands dogging us at that,
short track missing an American legend,
now he announces from the booth.

Costas’ eye bugs, but NBC picks him up,
has it in the bag, Lauer or whoever getting
it done, hockey on the run, Quick in the
net will be enough to go far, beware the
Canadians, it’s their sport remember?

Peace and dreams, every four years
make me a luge or bobsled trap me in
one of these, ‘long as it’s got cable,
or ever an antennae to pick up free
coverage, it blips every once in a while,
so what else here, does everyone HAVE
to hit a quad if on skates to get to the
podium, what about grace and style,
the miracle mile, Sweden on Cross-
Country skis, coming back, it’s the ladies—
what a race!

Reminded me of Lezak coming back from
outer-space!!

On we go to week two, what will we do?

God, just let them be safe
*******

II. Week Two

Mikaela winked and smiled,
the Earth moved, too true—
the last time we won this one
was 1972.

I’m reborn, hope eternal as the
flames of 22 extinguish, Winter
is over, and as it dies I’m
reminded while I cry of reasons
for Spring.

“Shiffrin” gold, the name doesn’t
get old, to bring pride to the slopes
gives us all hopes we can beat
the Austrian down the mountain,
Ligety-split, good enough—

winding ‘round, warmth at home
waiting, peace of mind from trying
this was our best.

There are two sides to victory; there
is the medal hunt, the path to glory.
Great.

But stumbling once, then twice out
the gate… and it happens. We lose
this one, so win the next.

Could be another race or event
at another time and place. Could be
later that day or night when you reach
out to another race, cheer on a teammate,

Or better yet: reach across ranks, and grab
a red hand from foreign lands yearning
to connect with West.

Feel good on that other “side,” it
is still called sportsmanship, Shaun White
going up in my book the very Olympics
his snowboard falters down.

To see youth grow up and embrace
the truer glory of friends made…

This is the Olympic Games.

Looking back, we have Sochi 2014,
the year “of the great terrorist attack,”
leave your toothpaste at home.

Meanwhile miles Northwest in Ukraine
blood swept the plain, across rivers
and snow, people earned their right
to be, how fitting as nations celebrated
theirs over and over again in gold,
sliver, and bronze forever.

This is the place for truth, there
are many to be sure, but performing
of this nature is pure exposure, our
lives un-guarded. There is no
pressure, Mr. Announcer, the minute
you buck the thought in exchange
for the love of sport.

We digress, revolve and return, the
youth shall by God’s will rise again,
the warmth of flame and story,
mid-week we curl up and hear
of winter glory.

The images they remain, I’ll never
forget the Sochi song from 2014,
life will never be exactly the same,
I’m powerless over effort’s ability
to shine within me through theirs.

A winter dream for all who about
life, world and sport truly care

“A Line-Storm Song” by Robert Frost

20 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Frost

≈ Leave a comment

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Robert Frost, Robert Frost Poem

           A Line-Storm Song

The line-storm clouds fly tattered and swift,
The road is forlorn all day,
Where a myriad snowy quartz stones lift,
And the hoof-prints vanish away.
The roadside flowers, too wet for the bee,
Expend their bloom in vain.
Come over the hills and far with me,
And be my love in the rain.

The birds have less to say for themselves
In the wood-world’s torn despair
Than now these numberless years the elves,
Although they are no less there:
All song of the woods is crushed like some
Wild, easily shattered rose.
Come, be my love in the wet woods; come,
Where the boughs rain when it blows.

There is the gale to urge behind
And bruit our singing down,
And the shallow waters aflutter with wind
From which to gather your gown.
What matter if we go clear to the west,
And come not through dry-shod?
For wilding brooch shall wet your breast
The rain-fresh goldenrod.

Oh, never this whelming east wind swells
But it seems like the sea’s return
To the ancient lands where it left the shells
Before the age of the fern;
And it seems like the time when after doubt
Our love came back amain.
Oh, come forth into the storm and rout
And be my love in the rain.

“In Hardwood Groves” by Robert Frost

20 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Frost, Poems

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Robert Frost, Robert Frost Poem

         In Hardwood Groves

The same leaves over and over again!
They fall from giving shade above
To make one texture of faded brown
And fit the earth like a leather glove.

Before the leaves can mount again
To fill the trees with another shade,
They must go down past things coming up.
They must go down into the dark decayed.

They must be pierced by flowers and put
Beneath the feet of dancing flowers.
However it is in some other world
I know that this is way in ours.

“Pan with Us” by Robert Frost

20 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Frost, Poems

≈ Leave a comment

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Robert Frost, Robert Frost Poem

                Pan with Us

Pan came out of the woods one day,—
His skin and his hair and his eyes were gray,
The gray of the moss of walls were they,—
And stood in the sun and looked his fill
At wooded valley and wooded hill.

He stood in the zephyr, pipes in hand,
On a height of naked pasture land;
In all the country he did command
He saw no smoke and he saw no roof.
That was well! and he stamped a hoof.

His heart knew peace, for none came here
To this lean feeding save once a year
Someone to salt the half-wild steer,
Or homespun children with clicking pails
Who see no little they tell no tales.

He tossed his pipes, too hard to teach
A new-world song, far out of reach,
For a sylvan sign that the blue jay’s screech
And the whimper of hawks beside the sun
Were music enough for him, for one.

Times were changed from what they were:
Such pipes kept less of power to stir
The fruited bough of the juniper
And the fragile bluets clustered there
Than the merest aimless breath of air.

They were pipes of pagan mirth,
And the world had found new terms of worth.
He laid him down on the sun-burned earth
And ravelled a flower and looked away—
Play? Play?—What should he play?

“The Tuft of Flowers” by Robert Frost

20 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Frost, Poems

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Robert Frost, Robert Frost Poem

         “The Tuft of Flowers”

I went to turn the grass once after one
Who mowed it in the dew before the sun.

The dew was gone that made his blade so keen
Before I came to view the levelled scene.

I looked for him behind an isle of trees;
I listened for his whetstone on the breeze.

But he had gone his way, the grass all mown,
And I must be, as he had been—-alone,

“As all must be,” I said within my heart,
“Whether they work together or apart.”

But as I said it, swift there passed me by
On noiseless wing a bewildered butterfly,

Seeking with memories grown dim o’er night
Some resting flower of yesterday’s delight.

And once I marked his flight go round and round,
As where some flower lay withering on the ground.

And then he flew as far as eye could see,
And then on tremulous wing came back to me.

I thought of questions that have no reply,
And would have turned to toss the grass to dry;

But he turned first, and led my eye to look
At a tall tuft of flowers beside a brook,

A leaping tongue of bloom the scythe had spared
Beside a reedy brook the scythe had bared.

I left my place to know them by their name,
Finding them butterfly weed when I came.

The mower in the dew had loved them thus,
By leaving them to flourish, not for us,

Nor yet to draw one thought of ours to him.
But from sheer morning gladness at the brim.

The butterfly and I had lit upon,
Nevertheless, a message from the dawn,

That made me hear the wakening birds around,
And hear his long scythe whispering to the ground,

And feel a spirit kindred to my own;
So that henceforth I worked no more alone;

But glad with him, I worked as with his aid,
And weary, sought at noon with him the shade;

And dreaming, as it were, held brotherly speech
With one whose thought I had not hoped to reach.

“Men work together,” I told him from the heart,
“Whether they work together or apart.”

“Rose Pogonias” by Robert Frost

20 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Frost, Poems

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Robert Frost, Robert Frost Poem

“Rose Pogonias”

A saturated meadow,
Sun-shaped and jewel-small,
A circle scarcely wider
Than the trees around were tall;
Where winds were quite excluded,
And the air was stifling sweet
With the breath of many flowers–
A temple of the heat.

There we bowed us in the burning,
As the sun’s right worship is,
To pick where none could miss them
A thousand orchises;
For though the grass was scattered,
Yet ever second spear
Seemed tipped with wings of color
That tinged the atmosphere.

We raised a simple prayer
Before we left the spot,
That in the general mowing
That place might be forgot;
Or if not all so favored,
Obtain such grace of hours
That none should mow the grass there
While so confused with flowers.

“A Cormorant” by Ted Hughes

19 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Classic Poems, Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Ted Hughes, Ted Hughes Poetry

A Cormorant

Here before me, snake-head.
My waders weigh seven pounds.

My Barbour jacket, mainly necessary
For its pockets, is proof

Against the sky at my back. My bag
Sags with lures and hunter’s medicine enough

For a year in the Pleistocene.
My hat, of use only

If this May relapses into March,
Embarrasses me, and my net, long as myself,

Optimistic, awkward, infatuated
With every twig-snag and fence-barb

Will slowly ruin the day.  I paddle
Precariously on slimed shale,

And infiltrate twenty yards
Of gluey and magnetized spider-gleam

Into the elbowing dense jostle-traffic
Of the river’s tunnel, and pray

With futuristic, archaic under-breath
So that some fish, telepathically overpowered,

Will attach its incomprehension
To the bauble I offer to space in general.

The cormorant eyes me, beak uptilted,
Body-snake low — sea-serpentish.

He’s thinking: “Will that stump
Stay a stump just while I dive?” He dives.

He sheds everything from his tail end
Except fish-action, becomes fish,

Disappears from bird,
Dissolving himself

Into fish, so dissolving fish naturally
Into himself. Re-emerges, gorged,

Himself as he was, and escapes me.
Leaves me high and dry in my space-armour,

A deep-sea diver in two inches of water.

Poets Don’t Own Cars

14 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Environment

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

We rent and we drive on occasion,
but lock us into payments?

Never.

The vroom vroom, powering and
speeding and smoking our way to this
and that? The noise, the hustle?

We prefer the slow stroll, the train
ride, the bus up the cliff, the hike
mile after mile, five senses becoming
six as we know there is more…

Rooftop to rooftop we hurl headlong
into vacant doorways of hope, dash to
and from buildings of dreams, scents
and poverty bringing us out of metal
and into the sweat of failure.

We must report something and so
stomach the stench, there must be a ground
if we are to elevate. Support comes from
loving people, we are dedicated to words
but know they are nothing compared to
what we describe,

The ultimate hope of all endeavor to
yield peace of mind, this one mine as I
deny the mechanic’s offer to ditch another
hunk at high speeds—

I take one look back at my old life as
I speed down the freeway of God’s
paradise in my wife’s fast muscle car:

I have an errand to run and I’m tired of
the walk, I’ll play this song, burn this gas
this time, but can’t wait to shed the metal

for a walk again my friend, toward the more
elegant train of rhyme.

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