Alcoholics On Board!


, , ,

The Benefits of Having a
Resident Recovered Person
At Your School



-by Bill Watkins,
Alcoholic Teacher


My last education article was about establishing a first name basis with students as a way to maximize service to them.

Now, as I reflect more on the errors of my own upbringing—next to meditating on solutions:

I, more and more, see the value of schools hiring not only psychologists and social workers generally, but counselors specifically qualified for drug and alcohol issues.

The best ones, I feel, are alcoholics and addicts themselves, in recovery from their illness—and ready to talk about it.

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in the 1930’s, one alcoholic talking to another.  Bill Wilson from New York and a Doctor Bob from Ohio came together, shared stories, and adapted Oxford Christian group’s Six Steps to our modern 12 Steps for recovery.

12 Steps of A.A.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


The view within AA thinking has always been that no person can fully understand or help an alcoholic better than an alcoholic in recovery.

Alcoholics know the way down, the way out, and have a unique willingness to share the depths of our problems, while those who are not admitted drunks hold back.

Holding back, hiding truth, not being fully real is a turn off for a depressed or out-of-sorts person, and professed alcoholics often can cut through formalities to root out deep-seated issues, especially if alcohol is involved.



Unadulterated truth and honesty… is the first step toward remedy in the life of an alcoholic, and maybe in our schools, as well.

Are we graduating upstanding Citizens, healthy people inside and out?

Are we tracking these students?  Do we know them well enough?

Or are we content to see some grades and a touchdown, declare a child and school fine until the next tragic incident…

One that might have been discovered with an honest drunk in recovery on board!!


Tearing Down the Old School


, ,

First Name Basis with Students
Can Yield Results


-by Bill Watkins 10/4/2017


I recently subbed as an assistant P.E. teacher at an L.A. charter school.

Around me in the teaching world are mostly Ms., Mrs. and Misters trying to establish a line of respect between elders and youth.

That is not me.

The old joke is to say that “Mr. Watkins is my father,” which is fine, but truly I come from the Christian ethic of putting children first.

When I show up on the scene of educational environments, the fun and dynamism exists in connecting with and inspiring young people.  Period.

I come to serve them, not the other way around, folks.

The child’s day on campus is king; truly shape and fashion that, leave no yawning gaps between for all you Longfellow fans like me.

Reach out, shake a hand.  Equality has me giving the same type of name you give me, that’s an equal meeting.

“Hello, I’m William, Bill or Billy—what’s your name?”

We are sort of equal now, but I go further to know I am cosmically lower-ranked than the child, Matthew 18 a roadmap not only to love children but to achieve heaven.

“What can I get you?” or “How can I help you?” is the constant attitude I take as I commit to making theirs the best day possible.

A trust establishes, tears may even fall—you learn that things are not great with a child’s life at home, and now the service really extends to help.


I graduated at age seventeen from a highly-respected private school a full-blown alcoholic in 1990, on my way to suicidal depression post-college.

The misters and missus’s that taught me did not know who I was.  I got good grades, did well in sports, got to college—did well there,

But No One Knew Who I Was.

They knew my first name, called me by it.  But I never knew theirs, there was a great hold-back, a reserve hoping for respect but ending in a failure to be of maximum service to a young person.

Tough Talking a Dead Shooter


, , ,

“Loser” and “Coward” doesn’t help.

Your anger against the shooter doesn’t
help—your judgment just creating more
tension, tension leading to the next shooter
who lets it out with a horrible bang.

Shh!  Judge not, lest ye be judged.

Ye without sin may cast the first stone,
so reach not for stones, you know there
are things within you needing work!

Breathe.  Shh!  It’s okay to just grieve;
then minister to the next super-shy, quiet
would-be shooter.

Often they are children who have not met
a nice person in a while.

Those doing bad things often haven’t
seen a Good thing in some time, if at all.

The Devil is strong, and Wide is the path
to destruction, as the Nazarene carpenter’s
son said.  Many are in trouble, heading
down, so instead of throwing rocks at
the drowned, look up and help!!

Here is the next shooter, there’s the next;
they walk among us now, so pray to
God for strength, and get in the way of

Look inside you to change, not outside—
with a pointed finger, saying “if only
they, they, they…”  You speak of madmen,
psychopaths to avoid the deep interior
look—look there!

Anger doesn’t work, the killer
killed himself, too—so say a prayer
for his family and soul, to love all God’s
children the goal.

There is no “motive” for mass murder,
as motive implies reason, and we are
in the area of irrational acts,

Like drinking flammable liquids, taking
doctors’ drugs to imply God made us
in a faulty way—

the thought that we can control stuff,
know the unknowable and suddenly
change the world.

Then the world changes, and we spin
around the sun a while, think we did
a good thing.

We are powerless—all of us, so thank
a Higher Power for another day, mourn
the dead who fell from a shooter today,
a hurricane tomorrow—

Life full of death making it all right to
be grateful for life, and folks:

Beware of high crowds, tight spaces,
and going where it seems “everyone else
is going.”

Higher Ranked Than Me


, ,

There is nothing to gain in
putting children down; in making
then subservient to us adults!

Let go of control, and remember
this, our journey, to “be as children,”
to retain the wonder, the dream.

Teachers: we are wise to learn
from children, and go beyond equal
treatment of the young—make them king.

Serve a child, shake hands—give a first
name and serve.  Get them things,
listen and allow them their needs.

The devil gets into anyone—children,
too—so shut down bad behavior as
best you can when in charge of a home

or class.  But come from a proper
place of knowing the devil can get to
us adults, too!  Banish judgment, and

wander onto the side of children as
you “teach,” take in the lessons learned
when you open to the moment,

find God in open minds, and be willing
to see that someone else beside you had
the best idea of the day!  We are children

inside, let that hair down, and keep joy
for life close—live every day as if it were
the very first, put down alcohol, drugs,

resentment and self-pity; these are the
ways Satan hammers the child out of
you, turns us into grumpy puppies!

Ruff!  Shake a child’s hand and bless your
life.  Do them a favor, be a hero in
Longfellow’s strife!  God bless the children

in us, so we can be there for the actually
young!  Tucked in shirts and “respect
for your elder” is not as important

as a humble knowledge of the universal
pecking order.  God or Higher Power
above and beyond, all of us below it,

the young with a special access to the
simple and true—study the child, and you
can be true, too—so give beyond the

sergeant’s whistle, beyond the “getting
them in line,” and make of the young
ones friends, and pass beyond a good time.

It is the road to heaven to be truthful
and full of joy—remember our place,
love a child, and certain peace of mind

is granted to every girl and boy.

Stockley Verdict, St. Louis – 2017


, , , , , ,

A Poet’s Opinion

-by Bill Watkins 9/21/2017

St. Louis Police1

Having watched in-car video of the 2011 shooting, along with a bystander video of the events, and having read an account of the events and known facts from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch—recapped in a news article from September 15th…

Here’s what I think, feel, and how I would have ruled—something I used to do when studying criminal law cases and decisions years ago, a self-study law review I made just to be a better person, and to know more stuff!!

Former St. Louis Police Officer, Jason Stockley, screwed up.

I don’t judge him, nor do I jump to the race card with what he did.  Being a victim of multiple acts of police violence and abuse myself, I see in Stockley’s actions typical thuggery and bad acting so prevalent in guns-first, think later cops.

But on December 20th, 2011, Officer Stockley was not the only person to screw up.  A suspect who would become the victim, Anthony Lamar Smith, was apparently dealing drugs, doing dirt—in the wrong place at the wrong time, with a rap sheet to match.

Smith, though a dad of a one-year old girl, I’m sure with good and bad in him—seemed to have the disease that leads too many of us into addiction and the trafficking of addictive drugs.

A lost soul, all the worse when cops roll up—AND YOU GET IN YOUR CAR, BANG INTO THEIRS AND FLEE THE SCENE!!!

Asking for trouble upon trouble, Stockley being one of those cops on scene to break up an illicit deal, it appears.


Stockley came to the scene armed with his own AK-47!!!  This is the first sign of unprofessional behavior, and also one of premeditation.

Officer Stockley presented in the video I saw a person looking for more problems than were there, seemed unsafe.

And now we move to a high-speed chase—a VERY unsafe practice through town, the officer’s SUV careening into a TREE before slamming into Smith’s car at high speed.

Next thing, police weapons are drawn, and Stockley shoots four or five rounds into a car, killing Smith.

That is always murder to me, killing is NEVER self-defense!!

(I am a martial artist, I know self-defense, and the goal nor the needs of defense require the cessation of your opponent’s heartbeat.)

That Stockley is suspected to have blurted out his intention to kill the suspect en route during this chase does not surprise me.

Mr. AK-47, a guy who shot at a fleeing car, saying he wanted to kill somebody sounds like all the same guy.


I will report now that at no time in my studies have I seen or felt an extra racial component to this, OTHER THAN THE OBVIOUS FACT:

We in this country have mistreated and abused Africa-descended people since they were brought sinfully in chains to the Colonies.

Until white people like myself make conscious financial, emotional and spiritual amends to black people, we will have too many African Americans in inner cities, tempted into living the kind of life Anthony Lamar Smith was living.

Those who dig into the surface a racial element here, reporting “White Cop Shoots Black Hero” are stoking problems, and are not attacking the problem’s root.

The incident is one of thousands that demonstrate a bigger need to make amends for the ancient second sin of slavery in the country, the first being the white man’s treatment of Native American people.


THE 20 YEARS sentence that I would give to Stockley based on what this poet saw and could surmise from what I know—is not because Stockley is a racist, but because he is guilty of certain Manslaughter;

Of making a bad situation of drug dealing into a far Worse one.

Of waving a personal AK-47 around on the job, driving at unsafe speeds, and of himself being a greater criminal than the one he was supposed to apprehend and HELP on December 20th, 2011.

Whether or not Stockley “planted a gun” in Smith’s car seems uncertain, although the DNA evidence, if true, seems damning.

Twenty years is what Stockley should have seen, so he can calm down and reflect—read a book or two, pray to God and ask forgiveness for the life of violence he had over time embraced leading to this tragedy.

To exonerate a dangerous person is wrong, and I feel Judge Wilson made the wrong verdict, based on what I have seen, on September 15th, 2017.

Reforming Ourselves


, , , , ,

It’s not the ones we hurt who
are at fault and should lead the charge
at making amends.

Former slave traders and owners must
recognize a need to repair the abuse,
crimes and lies—

I’m talking about the “White” bloodline!

If your English or European last name
is donned by an African person, surmise
with me that slave-owning is in your
family history.

Join me, and push for a fund, level the field,
and give enough to apologize for the wrong,
donate money or even a song.

Just admit the fault with me, and watch
karma go up in this country!

“CNN Sucks” is the motto of a favorite
Trump supporter, retweeted by the
former reality show star.

The Twitter user goes by @Fuctupmind,
posted a GIF representing Donald Trump
knocking Hillary Clinton over with a golf

Excuse me while I mute the screen during
drug ads or anytime the supposed president

Right now the Idiot in Chief is whining at
the United Nations to “reform!”

I am giggling at the hypocrisy, anyone from
the peace-hating United States with its covert
war operations and lust for world domination
through military intervention speaking to the
World Peace group held hostage in New York
about reforming.

Them reform!  “Be the change you want to
see in the world,” said Gandhi—but so many
people do not read but for the headlines at
Fox News, news reports that paint your
ideas in a good light.

History is boring, let’s pop some prescribed
pills and watch some TV.

Let’s hit up our doctors for more, I’m sure
I must have ADD, diabetes, cancer in my
membrane—I’m going insane, forget God
and real healing!!

Damn the side effects, I’m on this wide road
to Hell and I like it, it suits me, there is no
afterlife so don’t bother me!

After I hit some more golf balls, then imagine
hitting my enemies with them, I plan
to stop by the club and count my money.

Let’s threaten nuclear war on Twitter, then
go to the United Nations and preach about
reform, we’ll do lunch later—grab ‘em by the

Never mind the Indian.  The treaty we broke
to kill them.

Slavery that built the south, was never
compensated for—let’s just pretend it
didn’t happen, train our cops to shoot for
the torsos, “immigrants” must go, which
is great for Native Americans who would
finally be left alone.

Reforming ourselves starts with me reforming
me; look at yourself and what could give
you peace of mind.

Unfortunately, some don’t change—yell their
right to be wrong from the grave.

Left with words and prayer, it seems insufficient
to remember a trail of tears, children bombed
in Birmingham, civilians mowed down at
Amritsar, India—an eight year old girl machine
gunned in Trump’s Yemen raid.

I love you, don’t get me wrong.  I love the child
within the Donald, the abused kid—brought up
racist by an abusive father.

Stand up with me, Trump—come to God with
me, climb the mountain that Samuel climbed
and withdraw our desire to have people leading

it’s time to go back to God.


In high school, I was a manorexic hustler begging
for food amongst the rich, with no premonition
or self-delusion of future word surges about
Resistance and change.

It could be a case of Hollywood overreach, but
I dream of meaning beyond the surge—call it
a word Slurpee calling us out of our alcoholes
so Jacked the Ripper misses the glory no more,
mistakes are mistakes;

We sleep in the bed we make, the Last Gasp
of the racist white bigot hiding unprompted
under prompter prompts—a misprision of
Kushner debt, the Russians asking for sanctions
relief while sitting on Crimea’s face, Ukraine’s

We restrict children from voting, even if they
know and care more than us, Hoover’s
corrupt FBI growing thicker by the minute,
even next to Comey apologies, there’s still
a little matter like, I dunno,

Killing Martin Luther King, John Lennon
and the Kennedy’s.  Anyone who got in the
way of profitable war by promoting inconvenient

Girthy homicide leading to noise-polluting
planes, helicopters committing more crimes
for law than the criminals they seek, wild animals
running for the hills, commit suicide in the creek,
Freud’s id

Say a prayer for our pilots, who thought it right
to fly loud and fast and high in the night.  Sunday
driving, polluting at sunrise, whatever I feel like
doing—it’s my world to lies supply!

F the bible, Tao Te Ching and the quiet, losers
all of them—I’m happy in my Hell!

So reform, all you sinners at the UN
who whine about world peace, follow
me, my hair and undisclosed tax returns
to the bank, bring a camera—a nuclear war
could be good for ratings!

I forgive you, Donald, but can’t speak for
God if you drop another bomb on suspects
of terrorism while they sleep, the eight-year
old girl you murdered redeemed in this

Call it a tweet storm, a moral sleet, hail,
Donald Trump, who was last chosen first,
God bless our abused and confused

on this long return to our youth.

Unjustified Homicide


, , , , , , , ,

There is never a “reason” to kill, only
sin and breaking the sixth commandment,
(if you’re into those) and if you’re not…

Welcome to Hell.


Raskolnikov knew it well, the Dostoevsky
character damned the moment he raised
the axe.

And the police officer does not need to be
ruled a murderer by a court to be that,
folks, the crime goes punished, I now
assure you.

It is wrong to kill—the ultimate judgment
of another human being as less than you
and not worthy to be here.

You are no one to make such a judgment,
police have no justification for murder,
not one, not ever.

The old argument was that if he had a gun,
I get to kill him.

I smashed that in another poem called
“The Old Argument,” look to non-lethal
weapons and real self-defense, yes the
kind without reckless preemptive Offense,
yes, the sanity and good actions that take
you to heaven.

Restraint, moderation, holding back and
humility. Restraining from judgment, from
rash irrevocable payback, you were scared,
pulled out a gun, shot, and said it was fine
because of your badge.

The “president” (not mine) talks of
“cowardly attacks,” the “losers” we created
abroad and at home that kill, created by
our judgments, our tweets, our covert
bombing in the night, extrajudicial murder
of suspects, and satellite targets in the street.

“Take him out” lauded and applauded in a movie
house as the Department of Offense kills
another suspect.

Nevermind the murder. Nevermind the family,
friends of the dead—never mind the rise of
worse terrorist acts in the place of your man,
“taken out.”

We need to think deeper, speak less, listen
more and pull the United Nations out of a
peace-hating United States.

That or hold God in our hearts, fire Samuel
and the message the Jewish people gave him
to have a king to be like other nations.

Make God our king (he or she’s already mine),
Bill Maher and other atheists neglected to
the dictionary read, where “God” is there in
black and white, no fight,

It’s a Good Concept, this G.O.D. if nothing
else, Good Orderly Direction and help for those
who feel a need to connect to a Higher Power
than me.

Believe what you want, think what you think,
reap what you sow and sow what you reap.

You cannot escape the punishment of killing
humanity, you can’t, you try when you tweet,
CIA bragging they can go where others can’t,
accomplished what others can’t—

like murdering our own president.

In 1963, we went from bad to worse, from
human elections to murder’s erection, the
sad transfer of power to the devil at the top—
CIA interventions.

LBJ a Vietnam puppet, a racist killer who signed
Civil Rights up to shut them up, who had to
put something on the board to hide his gory
sword, greed and gore, setting up a bombing
spell Nixon cherished, racism gathering steam,
gosh can we kill Jack Anderson, that kike reporter,
we’ve done everything else murderous and evil to
kill the American Dream!!

Hunt, Gordon Liddy and the boys from CIA, the
FBI under Hoover no peach, killing MLK and
Freedom of Speech, John Lennon in our
sights, Reagan must have a clear path to
murder all the kikes.

You can’t change the world, Lao Tu was right,
but you can try.

End all the violence in your own heart and
mind, that’s the real fight. Gandhi, MLK, from
Jesus and turn the other cheek.

Warriors without guns have the real balls on
the street.

Cowards you say. Cowards. Like relying on your
gun instead of your brain.

Losers. Losers you say. God bless you to
stop judging others, and I promise you won’t
be judged.

Until then, Trump, and all the bastards who
skipped the book in school:

Shhh! Stop talking. Talking without knowing
is for fools.

Take your gun and violent way of life, flush
it down the toilet, be a hero in Longfellow’s
strife, a poet in the night, be as the Arabs
who pack their tents at the end of a great day,
steal no more, Away!!

God bless us to books and what they contain,
Mrs. Chick’s effort, John Wooden’s peace of
mine, even his 2-2-1 fullcourt press if it helps
you with yours, mine is mine.

I love you in your sin, don’t get me wrong,
Cowboy, I was just like you.

I used to be a strong coward for the right,
in favor of dropping bombs on enemies
like they were not people, but flies.

I’m sorry to God for this, the LORD a great
forgiver if you give a chance, pray earnestly
from your knees, CIA, admit the sin, and see
and feel the pain no more,

Raskolnikov to Siberia but truthful, Sonya
loyal to his truth and sinning heart until
the end.

You ask why but you know—she sinned too.

We are nothing until we admit the truth.

50 States of Peace


, , , , , , ,

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming

Love Forgiveness Unity Togetherness Listening Consensus Effort Courage Resilience Persistence Non-Violence Faith God Remembering History Education Lawfulness Gentleness Moderation Reserve Quiet Loud Freedom Willingness Openness Protection Tolerance Enlightenment Heavenly Giving Spirit Unconditional Responsible Acceptance Action Justice Equality Humility Truth Prosperity Righteousness Service Generosity Goodness Progress Striving Achievement Overcoming Victory Determination



to save succeeding generations from the scourge of war, which twice in our lifetime has brought untold sorrow to mankind, and to reaffirm faith in fundamental human rights, in the dignity and worth of the human person, in the equal rights of men and women and of nations large and small, and to establish conditions under which justice and respect for the obligations arising from treaties and other sources of international law can be maintained, and to promote social progress and better standards of life in larger freedom,


to practice tolerance and live together in peace with one another as good neighbours, and to unite our strength to maintain international peace and security, and to ensure, by the acceptance of principles and the institution of methods, that armed force shall not be used, save in the common interest, and to employ international machinery for the promotion of the economic and social advancement of all peoples,


Accordingly, our respective Governments, through representatives assembled in the city of San Francisco, who have exhibited their full powers found to be in good and due form, have agreed to the present Charter of the United Nations and do hereby establish an international organization to be known as the United Nations.


Cloak and Dagger: The Unexpected Beginnings of CIA

Almost 70 years ago, in the blistering cold of a January winter, President Truman hosted a small, secret ceremony at the White House to establish the new Central Intelligence Group (CIG)—the CIA’s institutional predecessor—and to swear in Admiral Sidney Souers as the first Director of Central Intelligence (DCI). This ceremony, however, wasn’t like most official inaugurations: The CIG began its brief existence with a phony cape and a wooden dagger.

The office diary of the President’s chief military adviser, FIt. Admr. William D. Leahy, records the rather unexpected event that took place that day:

January 24, 1946: At lunch today in the White House, with only members of the Staff present, RAdm. Sidney Souers and I were presented [by President Truman] with black cloaks, black hats, and wooden daggers, and the President read an amusing directive to us outlining some of our duties in the Central Intelligence Agency [sic], Cloak and Dagger Group of Snoopers.

CIA Vision, Mission, Ethos & Challenges


CIA’s information, insights, and actions consistently provide tactical and strategic advantage for the United States.


Preempt threats and further US national security objectives by collecting intelligence that matters, producing objective all-source analysis, conducting effective covert action as directed by the President, and safeguarding the secrets that help keep our Nation safe.


We’re for Peace, but we’ll be keeping secrets.

We might take covert action, so United Nations
of the world:

Be on notice, as we host your meetings
in our New York:

We will do whatever we want, whenever
we want, invade Korea, Vietnam,
El Salvador, Guatemala, Chile—

wherever we please, whenever we
please, our capitalist expansion and
defeat of communism more important
than world peace commitments.

Love, Forgiveness, Unity, Togetherness, Listening, Consensus, Effort, Courage, Resilience, Persistence, Non-Violence, Faith, God, Remembering, History, Education, Lawfulness, Gentleness, Moderation, Reserve, Quiet, Loud, Freedom, Willingness, Openness, Protection, Tolerance, Enlightenment, Heavenly, Giving, Spirit, Unconditional, Responsible, Acceptance, Action, Justice, Equality, Humility, Truth, Prosperity, Righteousness, Service, Generosity, Goodness, Progress, Striving, Achievement, Overcoming, Victory, Determination.

The fifty states of peace are there for
you and me.  Wide is the path to
destruction, and many are on it driven
by fear and seven deadly sins, easier to
go with the flow.

To those on the narrow, where I
try to be:

All we can do is live well and point
out our joy, give to others and pray
for Peace.

The United States of Peace


, , , , , , ,


We are powerless.

Upon the admission, some possibilities
develop, we get some momentum,
actually get some things done—a process
of emptying out to fill, erasing the chalkboard
to learn, preparing the flower bed, like
God’s great empty canvas in the beginning.

We ask for power or strength.

Samuel rises to the peak, asks God directly
for a king “to be like other nations,”
and although a Jewish story, I think it
applies to where we are politically all over
the world.  Our kings have let us down, just
as the LORD said they would!!

Peace and those who speak, preach and
take action to secure it—is a dangerous
endeavor.  Those who love to war, and send
their kids to the cliché that is college by waging
it: don’t appreciate the simple views espoused
by JFK in ’63, MLK in ’68, RFK in ’68 as well, then
look at John Lennon in the ‘70’s about to ramp
up against Ronald Reagan in 1980.

All murdered at the peak of their Peaceful
message to the world.

Don’t forget Gandhi.  He was an enlightened
man, trying to unify his country, tried to speak
the militant Hindu off the cliff of hate, and was
killed for it.

Those names, all of them: the greatest voice
for peace in the world on the day they were

For that reason I wrote and performed
a comedy CD once, called “The Second
Most Peaceful Man in the World”—a dark
joke about staying away from the number one
seat, a sure bet to be assassinated brutally.

We are powerless.

Even those men of peace had no real
power beyond their exceptional education
and principles.  Somehow they got very large,
and at their largest they were destroyed…

Ideas live forever, if good ones, and so not
all is lost when triggers are pulled and
horrible acts steal our human heroes.

Ideas for peace—call them “states” that
must unite against a climate and pulse always
driving and sometimes so violent!

To know when to step back, breathe and
again admit total powerlessness allows a Power
greater than us to be in the lead, to accept
the cycle of life with grace and turn the other
cheek, to walk away from those who hate
you, dust off your feet like the Prince
of Peace would teach—

is good.

Walk away from the self, take and accept less
stuff, less food, less drink—enough being every
bit as good as a feast, Mary Poppins treats.

Peace is like the great hold-back, the space
between the thought and the act, the realization
that to do nothing is superior to doing something
bad—it all takes training, discipline, and the
ultimate awareness that no matter what we do
or do not do can range in import between
“no change” to Moving a Mountain from there
to here,

if we fast, pray and believe—your water
tasting like wine without the horrible
consequence of altering brain chemistry and
the relationship you try to have with a
jealous God not fond of sharing spotlights
with bottles of flammable liquid sold in stores
and on my TV as “drink.”

There’s nothing like a bit of throw-up in
the morning to help you kick bad habits, a
hangover in a jail cell, push-ups and sit-ups
by the side of the bed having overdosed on
what your father and mother did.

You honor them as best you can, because
you want to live a good, long life—keep the
sabbath day holy if Jewish, and if anyone else:

reserve some days, moments, years to honor
and remember Life and all we didn’t do to
make it happen.

“GOD” could just be Good Orderly Direction
for some, a hoax for others, but he or she
exists because it’s in my dictionary as at
the very least: Concept.

Other ideas for peace came from great
wars.  We had the Kellogg-Briand Pact
after World War I that no one followed,
leading to a second war, leading finally
to mass nuclear murder of Jews, Japanese
and so many other of God’s children no
matter what side residing in her seas.

Leading finally to the United Nations and
its proud World Peace charter of 1945,
signed by all “peace-loving nations” in
San Francisco, California—eventually setting
up in New York, USA—the supposed
Victors of World War II setting too many
rules, including:

The indoctrination of covert CIA two years
after the UN was formed, thus thwarting
World Peace covertly.

So often, and go ahead and blame Samuel:
The “United States” of America is not a peace-
loving nation, and should not be permitted
membership in the United Nations.

That we are allowed to host the group is
laughable, the curse God promised Samuel
about kings stealing and being corrupt coming
true in the red, white and blue flag draped over
President John F. Kennedy, murdered by his
own CIA.

Oh, I’m sorry that’s not admitted yet, the CIA
locked up the facts around that, the idea
of “classified” and Top Secret killing “democracy,”
that Greek concept in America too, a joke.

Earl Warren called himself a chief justice, while
he helped Allen Dulles cover murder, “national
security” a euphemism for “job security” amongst
the criminal covert underworld of U.S. war
perpetrators, AKA “the confused.”

I love you.

Don’t get me wrong, and that’s so much “politics”
that I’m apt to lose fans if I keep going there.

We’ve already done religion, so off we go to
see what other buttons are there to push.

Doesn’t sound like a peaceful operation, but
to tell the truth, I was the guy in the basketball
game “taking charges,” finding a weakness in
defenses, exposing them and pointing them out
to win.

And as you do, you make the other guy stronger
the next time.

That is what the drill sergeant does, I think, is
tear down to build back up the military way.

The beef I have with a military that is sometimes
a great example of team, humility and discipline
is that, quite frankly:

They are killers.

I like the sixth commandment, still, that Thou
shalt not kill.

Not ever.

Killing is the most egregious form of judging
your fellow human being.  I abstain from
judging to avoid judgment, loving others the
path to heaven so narrowly walked until the
right words find a page, your ears or national
consciousness that widen the road.

“You cannot change the world,” Lao Tzu
keeps buzzing in my ear, but then Wyatt
Earp springs up, a soul committed to action, to
keeping a clean, safe street on which children
and women could walk with their feet.

Helicopters and fireworks do not please the
LORD, I’m convinced, they are loud and causing
the deer and coyote where I live to retreat
so deep into a depleted forest complete that
I can only fight my peaceful fight,

the devil defeat.


God bless the warrior, whose definition of
war is the flower sprouting from the seed.

God bless he or she who stand up to injustice,
who lock arms against the racist taunts,
the sexist remarks, the hatred in the air rising
up to create a moment’s high.

Read the UN Charter with me, raise it high
like lowly Bolivia—the last will be chosen
first, humility is good, America. Following
through on our treaties to native Americans
is good, America.  Paying African Americans
a stipend as amends for sin is good, America.

Good is good, the Commandments good.  Wisdom
of the ages is good, from Solomon’s Wife of
his Youth to Lao Tzu’s waiting until the mud
settled in the pool to see to the bottom,

make a proper decision.

Love is the golden rule, find it in your
heart, and forgiveness too.

But we are powerless.  We are nothing
without inspiration, and that pause that
allows space for prayer and lifting our
thoughts to a higher plain to assure we act
not just from the selfish Freudian id, but for
the highest, greater good

as Adam Smith tried, and John Nash did.

The atheist prays to no one, stands tall in
the flood, blames the levy and that’s okay.

Inherent truths rain down on the ignorant
and enlightened in equal spray, the first
being that words are fictions, never doing

justice to the essence of leaf on pool, the
dance of Spring following a harsh un-ending
swirl around the curls and furls of Winter’s
harsh breath, you’re sure of yourself until
a strange dream takes you somewhere else,

we bellow and yell at each other to change,
nothing and no one changing until close
to the grave we honor a fallen friend by
giving up the thing that we think killed them,

only… no one is dead that strove to spread
even the most benign cell of You, the beginning
of Truth trying to end not war but the disillusion
and ignorance that started it.

The falsehood of men being men by killing and
fighting other men is the same as calling the
boy queer for kissing Dad on the cheek, he
thought he was neat, we must listen to the
real prophets whose words mean something,
survived the ages to tell us something…

Moses, David, Solomon, Jesus, the Tao Te Ching.

Oh, you can close your ears and fight upstream!

You can invent the United Nations of peace while
you steal their wallets, plot to kill and feed the
festering fear of losing all your things!

I love you, even when you can’t do what
you seem to seem, God bless you even in the
godless hate that is a seed to the flame of change—
We will overcome our worst members when
we bow to hear their complaint, take a blow

on the cheek, cry a bit and kiss them back from
the grave of chance, the last dance of the
prophets of peace who were murdered while
their ideas inspired the next dreamer to

I love Bill Maher without the slicked back
hair, hungover or sick, calling out, we’d change
his diapers, get him water and wash his feet.

He rails at the Christian hearts that beat, and
we understand, because most of us too used
to engage in hate.

We want you in our army, Bill, and any other
soldier in heat, those convinced God is a made-up
game for adults to console themselves about
not being able to compete.

We laugh until the pot runs out, and there’s
a real lull and time to think.

We can live until we are abandoned at the
home, getting changed by strangers, or…

study the way of the 800-year old Jewish
man being “gathered to his people,” a glorious
send-off of “Thanks, Dad!” “Thanks, Grandpa!!”

Thank you for all that you did and do, you
will always be here in us and in our hearts,
we let you go, and you must trust us to
keep your dream alive.

And the old man dies, not a sad good-bye, but
more like a winning sacrament completed,
a perfect game thrown before the field is
for the storm upcoming sheeted, we call
it all kinds of disease and names, but so many
just living as zombies past their call to go,

hospitals getting rich instead of counseling
family members to whether alone or with
a minister bring out the red carpet toward
heaven and watch their greyed loved one
walk upon it, away from us to God.

Dying is living, the best part of us lives
forever, if that Mrs. Chickian effort we made,
if that John Woodenian peace of mind we
achieve, knowing we did our very best…

Whether with words, deeds or actions or
all three, the road to the United States of
Peace goes through your own little heart.

The focus there, the heart that cares, we have
a chance to spread your own version of
God both here and there.

God bless…..

Becoming Sexual


, , ,

To know who you are takes years,
layers of who you are not shed like
clothes to get to truth’s bottom,

Even the socks come off—we start
with the physical, then the emotional,
then some get to the Spiritual, olé!

First there were those naked Barbie
dolls for me, even Ken got shagged,
what a thrill or rush in the shorts,

We had to hide their naked bodies
under the dining room table between
meals when no one looked.

The minute we were found out, a
sibling and I, we were reprimanded
for being human and never told

what the hell was going on with our
body, and our curiosities!  I used to
put sugar on my Frosted Flakes and

Fruit Loops, but that’s not important
right now, the next sexual escapade was
me checking myself out in the mirror,

wearing only underwear, I wasn’t fully
aware of erection, just a growing sense
of “what an awesome sensation,” so

I recall scheduling these mirror dates
every so often.  Jump to years later, after
chasing X-rated flicks on ON-TV with

friends or alone, uncomfortable boners
without remedy… it finally came.  “What
the heck was that,” I asked myself,

totally alone in these new experiments,
thinking for a moment that I may have
been the first person ever to, yes,

Break my penis.  Puberty for me was delayed
way past normal dates, I was old according
to most calendars to not know stuff,

experience stuff, but there I was having
heard about “wet dreams” and semen in
school, but who thought all that would

actually happen to me!  Especially, without
warning or my body or dad or someone
telling me!!  A strange sensation that first

time in bed, I thought I might burn off
my johnson, wind up dead—was I trying
to make fire from wood?  Basically… yes,

in a way, heat created liquid, and all did
their job, now looking back—but at the
time I thought I had a sprain, so went back

to it a few days later, let it out, then added
this event in some way to my schedule for
thirty years until recently, when I gave up

sex completely, so that I could be a responsible
human being, in control and able to
commit to one person for life, the dreams

and thoughts of love still arise, the body
still wants and craves, I just pray it out
and walk away, make a bunch of poems,

try to sell a screenplay.  There was a weird
time in my life going to 12-step meetings,
sexuality on a hold—I was a failure at sex and

intimacy with girls, a virgin until thirty-three.
It was cool and difficult when the valves
broke open, as humanity felt good, but

those meetings became a way to go for
chicks, I had lost an ability for platonic
female friendship!  Cool and uncomfortable

all at once, I learned the language of love
and got a few gals to bed, but as I said, I
am withdrawing my career so I can commit

to one, be responsible and not be that middle-
aged dude breaking up families and creeping
around, making folks say, “How sad, that guy

is a desperado, doesn’t he know he’s too
old for that kind of thing?”  And I say, “Ah,
man, are you saying I should totally put my

naked Barbie doll away?  Just kidding,” and there
you go, an amazing thing is sex and its drive,
I wonder how it affected and came to you,

for me it was a wild ride.  I do wish I had
had a conversation with a loved one, that
sex and love be celebrated not under the gun.

When I smiled at Anne, and she smiled back
I had family members at home laughing in
front of and behind my back—and that, people,

is the very serious note of this joke: Never
get in the way of someone’s love, be they eight,
four, fourteen or forty-seven years old, read

the bible—Proverbs and Malachi touting
the Wives of our Youth, that line could have
been for you.  We grow up often in ignorance,

going from flower to flower, forgetting to be
a follower of the Tao or God or tradition.  Some
have that, and are lucky for it, some must fly

around, figure it out for themselves, do
experiments like I did, survive.  There’s a better
way, I say even while grateful I didn’t die,

Have today, my favorite one, on the way
to peace of mind—putting a Power greater
than myself in charge of Sex!

Yes, it’s powerful, and fun and cool,
sometimes uncomfortable.  Make a prayer
and decide with God what you want with it

before it eats you alive like drugs and
alcohol, the diet of every vice, addiction
edging spirit out, selfishness killing our

children trying to explain to them not
love and sex.  But how your mom and I
transgressed God and vows, split up,

called it a divorce against reason.  Man
can’t separate what the LORD has bound,
so grab your private parts, pray, let go

forever and give them to Truth!!