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Bill Watkins, Traveling Poet

~ Words For You, Just Ask

Bill Watkins, Traveling Poet

Category Archives: Poems

College Love

08 Saturday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Love, Poems

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Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

Wow, the spring of dreams, Freshman year

Spring quarter out of the blue, skating in
on roller skates, I’m not joking, she rolled
into my life!!

Kristin, so cute looking eight feet tall, riding
in rolling into art history class, unbelievable
like an EMF song. Life changes. You think you
know your direction and it changes.

The chase was on, she was an athlete too
I’d find out. By chance from art history where
I never spoke with her, we met again in
Environmental Studies 122. Sorry, we did not
meet there, I was shy, just admiring from afar.

Then that day, she icing shin splints from track
team running, me icing sore knees from volleyball
rolling. The training room hook-up, I said
“Hello.”

“Are you in ES-122?” “Yeah!” “Me too.” smile.
We were friends before we met, same age, both
from similar schools, at the same place same time
blonde and beachy and athletic and dreaming.

“Let’s meet before the midterm and study.” Okay,
my dream was on its way. I had never succeeded before
where girls or women are concerned, but after all
I had only been a man legally for about six months.

We studied, we laughed, we studied, we laughed.
I got something out of her hair one night at her
place, and the calling was for a kiss, but I could
not. I could not. I could not for the age old problem
afflicting many an alcoholic, many a child of
divorce, many a shy folks world-wide.

I lacked God, I lacked courage, my hope back then
to get drunk enough to tell a girl my feelings.

I could not tell Kristin until years and years later,
how I felt, and how I feel now.

She was perfect. I’m grateful for her, the
friendship we had the laughs—

Only regret I was not man enough
to take the chance

You know, for Kids:

07 Friday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Children, Inspirational, Kids, Poems

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

“Smile Forever”

Things will happen,
good and bad times, but
the day is long enough for both.

I love the wind, change—
the softness of days free of
doubt or worry.

God is spoken of in church
and I see nature’s beautiful
sky and horizon,

I think we’re all here for
a pretty good reason.
Things come together,

Seem made for each other,
dreams and waking time
combine,

I’m so glad to have another
day to think and write
and draw and pray.

Somewhere others are sighing,
writing and reading,
reciting or singing

And I think I hear them,
because I’m smiling now
despite hard times;

My day is long I let in the
tough, it passes and like
waves returns to the sea.

Sometimes I could swear
God has made this world
just for me…

So I could smile forever
*********

“Just Today”

There are no others
Some dream of futures,
Daughters, sons, brothers—

That’s okay to dream
Keep it that and Never
Drift long in worry…

Pray it away, like the sun
That sets on a glorious Day!

Dream, Pray, Tell Worry
Of things to come to
go, like the sun, away

So the Stars can shine,

Clean the Sky, Get Ready….

Another Day.

********

“The Starfish of the Sea”

They call me… the Starfish of the Sea

Some days, Whole days I sit at the bottom
of the ocean.
I rise with the tide, I’m not sure—

It’s the Motion

I’d say I was tall… Wide
Something to describe what I
am inside without all the Emotion.

But I can’t; I guess I’m wishy-washy
full of wishes, dreams and horse pucky.

I’d sing a song if I had one
But instead wait to be fed by ocean’s bottom—
We’re not unlike the tide itself, up and
down MOTION—

Full of emotion. Starfish cry, too,
my tears like a bucket in drops of rain,
one two three;

Saltwater the answer to prayers,
Sayers saying too much until

Bright, enlightened by the Sun
and God they say something

RELATABLE

I’m a song in an ocean…
Not very dateable!

I’d love to cough and get your attention…

Can u really run from the tide,
the day on your beach I with you
awaken?

Smile… It’s a pretty picture (Snap!)

On your beach I’d love to teach
Even if dried out my heart Stops its beat,

I sing and brighten beaches all the same…

I shine eternally in Sunshine or Rain.

I’m the Starfish of the Sea;
They call me that ‘cause I’m pretty
and deep and not enough people
can see me.

I’m done with my song, now—I have to go back;
to the deep blue sea… see? It’s my
mom and dad they want to see me like
yours you…
IS THAT SO BAD?

Family are those who do the will of God.

Remember that.
********

“The Fruits of Hard Labor”

When the day is done
you like to look back and think you did
something, something good.

Whether for others, yourself, your
house, your mom, your dad?

I dusted, I shot a basket, we won
the game, we lost the game
but tried hard… and you
know what? We are improving…

I traded with my friend, I talked
with my friends about my
teacher at recess, I ate the
food my parents made for me,
I think my teacher is nice—

So far so good, maybe life
is just living the best day you can
live…. Believe and work hard,

Then when you look back you see
a building, not of bricks only
but of friendships and creativity.

Winter Olympics 2010

05 Wednesday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Olympics, Poems

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Tags

Bode Miller, Joy, Julia Mancuso, Lindsey Vonn, Love, Olympics, Peace

It bodes well, the competition
stiff and cold bursting in the sunlight
of dreams.

Could we stop and cuddle by the fire
as the athlete does what he or she
has done a million times before,
this time for Olympic gold?

I’m a comic—in L.A. I worked,
figuring it out, shamming around,
putting my show out on the floor
until one day I decided to win,
to put the training to use and not
budge from the winning plan.

My show reminded me or vice versa
of Lindsey Vonn’s Downhill gold
in Vancouver, 2010—the slips,
the slides, the veers, the good and
bad moments—trouble, slow, and fast
spots—places you “go for it” and others
you must hold back and stay on course…

She did it a million times before, this one
for gold! I’m so proud to be an American,
what’s more an honorary captain of the
winter Olympic American team.

It bodes well, Bode, the Tiara-wearing Julia,
dancing on the podium like you practiced
and promised yourself, sometimes others,
but it’s always that promise to yourself that
is most important. God? Take all the help
and inspiration you can get, find a line you
like and WIN, the first three letters of the
Winter Olympics; I won the audition that day—
kept my routine heading fast and smart enough
down the hill to victory;

I cried that day, tears of success—I just wished
Lindsey Vonn—oh yeah, she let it out, too…

Let it out; this is the Winter Olympics, Vancouver
2010. I hope God is pleased like me…

It bodes well!

Poem:

04 Tuesday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Alcoholism, Poems

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

Forget Everything and Run

Spelling fear, the anthem of the scared
running into bars for quick relief.

Or up the coast, down the coast, or
perhaps deep into failure…

Anything but face the demon, the nightmare,
the truth. We run and we run,
we run so much we make a jagged Earth
smooth, this party’ll do.

Who tells us that at twenty-five, life gets
serious, a choice must be made to
stay alive?

Who tells us that at thirty, private parts
sag and we feel age upon us?

Run forest, run, the truth of gaps and gnats
on big black hikes up cliffs will shift the
weather a click for every foot in elevation hit.

We need to quit. To discard the dance in
favor of the direct stance—

Why not now, in the middle of this one-way
romance, Vanity Kills, or so the singer
said, the 1980’s a time of building for many,
for me for running.

’85 and first drinks sealed my fate. A signpost
read in blood red “go back.”

We can stop or die it’s up to you

Paradise Found

04 Tuesday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Epic, Paradise, Poems

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Tags

Columbus, Joy, Love, Peace, Ventura

I. Predator Flight

In her eyes the fire of light,
some poets grind, others take photos
at dawn or dusk, still others wait for the
fog and make their own light.

Technology makes things easy, they say,
but none have said better than Lao Tzu
who said: do not try to change the world.

It cannot be done!

Then folks like Wyatt Earp come around,
make changes and you’re forced to amend
even Lao Tzu.

Nothing useless is or low—each thing in
its place is best… Stop reading this poem
if you have not studied Longfellow, I’m sick of
saying it.

And what seems but idle show strengthens
and supports the rest. Yes!!

Longfellow found paradise with his pen,
Buddha meditating, Yoga people stretching,
and Yogi the bear eating picnic baskets.

To laugh out loud is a part of heaven we try
to reach every day, those who don’t post on
Facebook. Just kidding or JK, JFK putting peace
before politics and getting killed for it.

Love is a strange song sung by the courageous,
following in a long line of creative people starting
perhaps with King David, or maybe a dude in
Africa banging rocks together for the first time.

Love strikes chords, in and out of music and can
wind up floating in a flood through New Orleans,
or dreaming its own dream, shooting poisoned
arrows through the heart of the 1980’s.

Dreams, things unclean, soft memories of the eyes
of youth on me. They are the future; I am
fading with middle age;

Everything I have I give to children—please join me
to end age discrimination. Throw open the floodgates
in this case, they deserve the vote, all the educated
and inspired even and especially kids!!

At eight years old all I wanted to do was to vote in
the 1980 presidential election. I knew more about
the candidates then than I do about them now…

Was excited, couldn’t wait for outcomes, passionate,
in love!!

But no, disallowed, come back in ten years, they say.

Ten years later I am biased, angry, dispassionate, feel
cheated and abused so F it.

Opportunities missed, Caroline and Alicia my young
neighbors following me out to vote when I’m twenty-
six, them knowing more of the issues than me. They
cared more, knew more: they were no more than
twelve years old, should have been voting alongside
me, but no.

Disallowed, discriminated against.

Goes to show the value of “politics:” NIL until everyone
is allowed in…..

II. Predator Patrol

We wake up in bliss when sober, clean and sure.
Paradise is close to us, we are surer and surer, each smile
from the heart speaking to the Earth, exclaiming great
thanks.

We did not die as friends did in the mire that is
alcohol and drugs, felt guilt at times, what some
call survivor guilt.

And still we patrol the shores where
enemies like self-doubt and fear,
the wounds from overdose creep and
try.

More is a deceptive disease, stealing in
late at night behind and past some defenses.
Evil lurks in quick tempers and angry reactions
to computer error.

New at Higher Power, those in early recovery
must try and try again at placing God first, God
first, God first, God first.

In doing so we change the way we do or not
do all things. Everything changes, in fact, we slow
actions down enough for them to be controlled
by loving decisions, smart ones.

No longer do we shoot then aim, looking to
satisfy first thoughts and feelings. We had a
buffer zone made of dreams, tempered with
Power.

We let go.

III. Predator Pray

Forgiveness is the dream of the peaceful.
I’m not preaching we forgive and live with abuse;
perhaps just forgive it.

The change continues as we shore up our borders;
South runs the line toward pain and confusion, but
prayer diligently adhered to as a stop before acting
and often even thinking…

Keeps us heading North on the treadmill toward
peace of mind. We have nice views along the way,
visiting Columbus, Ohio in the winter for a shock—
just making sure our senses are alive.

All four seasons are welcomed into the new life,
Paradise—once mentioned by Milton as something
lost, the Bible, the Jewish part—seems within reach despite
what even the Jehovah’s witnesses say.

Far off is far off, now is now, the smile we get with
peace is a post-rain color explosion in the clouds. We have
a rapidly moving sense that Paradise is right now!

Then it fades like the rainbow itself, into the sun,
particles lost and found as well, Particlus writing an epic
poem about it, Particle Bill responding years later.

Some have positive views, some take different views,
some view the same thing from the same angle but
report differently and say the other has it wrong.

I see Paradise now in the wind, not far from the sound
of hammers breaking up perfect Saturday morning sun
and chirp.

One of the different views is hammering for his peace of mind
and mine fades, not because I didn’t try hard enough,
but because because, leaves fall making room for more,

change is everywhere, God give me the strength to endure it.

IV. Trouble in Paradise

We haven’t even officially found it when it breaks down,
the dream of it even.

The absence of control frustrates until we find we
must let go even more, and soon, reduced to who we
are, the pill catches in our throats. We spit and keep trying,
there must be more moments for us up ahead.

Music fills the dead air, construction work kills it,
the birds and wind through trees battling our hammers
and guns every day. Art wins some days, nature others,
and on some cool mornings they are the same thing…

We love the goals that soccer makes, but woe to the injured.
We celebrate the heroes of war and mourn the loss of the
fallen. Medals go out, trophies. Some go out to those who
stayed out of the battle, the real warriors of the mind
who call out on Capitol Hill for more this, less that,
and let’s get this other thing going.

Their pay betrays them, and still we exclude and keep
certain types out of congress. No old white man likes to be
shown up by little black girls; they forget that all of life
is a great journey back to childhood.

Innocence tries to win, conjuring light from fog,
blurry in the night, a San Francisco bell bringing in
the harvest of boats long and short.

Trains too, they roll in. People hope against hope the power
won’t run out for what then? Dependence on modern convenience
we have sold to ourselves as necessary.

We step away from the known just enough on long
hikes to make the spectacle of poverty endurable, and
we remember Jesus’ words that the meek will inherit
the Earth.

We are sure we are worthy of God’s best as we hunker
down for Her worst, prepositions dogging ends of
sentences in the face of Polytechnic’s best grammar
instruction.

We abandoned running on and sarcasm, realizing the root
of the word is Greek for tearing flesh. Al-Anon helps
A.A., long train rides helping music and the Tao Te Ching,
we remember everything, that script we made to help
free children slaves.

We had a purpose once, but we must abandon all we know
and escape into nature to remember it.

Go back to life after you leave it – something good awaits
the other side this strange hammering.

V. Touch and Go

The pain gets great, you don’t know.
It seems worth it, we’ve come so far
searched far and wide.

Maybe they’ll take the dreams I have inside,
after I die have a party, donate all my truths
and lies to a worthy charity.

Fame in death, go out in a blaze of glory,
someday they’ll remember me and be sorry
they didn’t pull the red carpet out for my
steps as they approached the pedestal.

Awards and fame, nothing will ever be the same,
but that’s it it all fades to dust now in the calming
mist of whirlpool steam, we kick our feet up
in a final Jacuzzi, this must be the end.

No, not yet!! No, we fight off death at the last
gate, nine out of ten ways to ten until we’re gone
we make a goal line stand and fend off the reaper.

Peace and joy comes to the golden effort given
by the golden sleeper. We see peace ahead, more
work slightly to be done—

VI. Paradise Found

Love, peace, rainbows unity. The greatness we
think becomes the greatness we see, five senses
turned on to experience this kind of beauty.

It was all here before, musty Columbus snow, gyms
filled with volleyballs and achievement, effort
glistening white.

Ventura waves in day, drumbeats at night, a piece
of hot pizza served by Tony by the train station
this is Paradise!

I once described it as a “smiling state of mind,” a
reggae song without the pot, we needed no substance
but life to feel all right, no Jehovahs to tell us “wrong!”

Paradise is here and now, it was always between my ears,
it was always my attitude, my decision, a decision that as
the red book says “declares victory for one side of
an argument over another.”

Love and peace, think of the trees—Poplars by
Aldington, dreams from Frost and Lowell, imagists
all rhyming and scheming before we were born.

Link hands and destinies down the golden road to
happy peace; this is the stuff, this is the dream. Some
dance, some sing, it is “peace of mind” and no other
thing.

Heaven is a peace of mind that comes from knowing
I did the best I could to be the best person I was
capable of becoming.

John Wooden and I define and find Paradise, waiting
for you to win ten and join us…

God bless you and keep you until then!!

Paradise! It’s here and now, hear me now
get yours before it’s too late, choose today
as your good start, open minds, willingness and
honesty the keys to the gate. Ha!!

Milton turns in his grave, John Nash says again
to Adam Smith: “Incomplete!!” Paradise is lost
and found everyday, lost and found one moment
to the next, give and don’t count the cost
echoes of St. Ignatius St. Francis praying
for giving and peace…

Forgiveness just another Ventura wave in a
lonely world populated by endless rivers and mountains,
people and animals. The snow comes unless
you run from it, coast to coast in America, ‘round
the world and back.

Don’t ever leave Paradise once you’ve
found it, you need lots of prayer to do that.

Paradise once found still needs water and sun
to grow true, rakes and shovels, sweaty brows
to deliver.

We may as well work with smiles and songs
on lips and think of the Midwest shiver.

They’ll remember us each Christmas, enjoy fuller
seasons and say we got cheated;

Los Angeles has me trapped forever in freedom
because my choices are true. Thank you, LORD
each letter capitalized to spell an Anglicized YHWH.

Borges reviews my poem, words cut out, Lao Tzu
thanks me also, returns and comes with the Tao,
rainbows soft at recall—

I am reborn today, in Paradise…

This is nice

Beer Commercials

03 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Alcohol, America, Beer, Love, Poems

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

Isn’t it great, the colors, the sights,

the sounds—the glamour.

Drink this and feel this, you can be this
happy too!!

I was a victim of beer commercials;
it wasn’t the only thing that got me,
but it sure didn’t stop me.

How many young people fall to their
pressure everyday?

This is why go out, write about it, spread
the word there’s another side to the
gulp gulp!

My anti-beer ads go like this: Fade in
on hospital rooms and prison cells, then
have sucking music accompany the POV
down the toilette where boys and girls
are puking their first drunk.

Now the sewers with other drunks and
puke, the sewer water heading for the
morgue.

Sirens and handcuffs, straight jackets
and padded walls, meds dispensed by
laughing nurses, back to you throwing
up your meds.

Words flash on the screen:

“All this because you didn’t learn to live
before your took your first drink of
alcohol.”

Alcoholic zombies walk graveyards and head
for the bars to re-fill their glasses, watch
sports on TV.

As they clink glasses with each other, grunting
and foaming at the mouth, the final words
on this 30-second spot fill the screen:

“Alcohol: killing and addicting people since
the beginning of temptation”

With that the bar and its patrons explode.

American Poem:

03 Monday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Alcohol, America, Poems

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

“Puking Mess”

Against the odds, the stream rolling
downhill, beer ads getting top honors
and accolades played between tackles
and crotch-grabs—this is America.

Superbowl, super-old, this fight for money
leaving so many on the ground unable
to get up

I digress un-dressed dreaming of a more
enlightened world. The puppy and the
pony, soft songs and snowy scenes of peace
selling us alcohol to drink.

Take off with rocket’s first fuel, C2H5OH
Ethyl no friend of Lucy, divorcing many
Rickies, burning cells faster and faster until
loopy we take the wheel and turn our car
into a Slurpee—this is America.

Nine out of ten swirling out control, with
power to stop but no willingness, though.

We like the tackle and pop, the risk and reward,
the coming back from war with a limp and a
promise, paychecks for life, it seems to be all
about “mine.”

What happened to Longfellow’s Hero in the
Strife? What ads don’t show you is the puking
mess, the flip side of parties crystal and gold,
snowy scenes of growing old, kicking back
deserving of peace, so drink alcohol, burn
more cells, Devil’s pride swells, this is the end
of America.

Turn around, go against flow, dream a better
bigger dream without money attached, choosing
subsistence over accumulation.

Dream and do more, kick feet up after the work
is done, water the only drink powerful enough
to cool the flames of achievement.

Today great, tomorrow with hope, I feel
pretty good, I eat and drink things that help
my body. My attitude is positive, nothing gets
me down, I read the old volumes, try the old
ethics, I turn the other cheek, forgive.

Nothing useless is or low, each thing as
Longfellow also said in its place is best, and
what seems but idle show is a Budweiser
commercial, because it is.

Flow, Flow, Flow—against flow.

America rises again, everyday a chance to ignore
the hottest thing in favor of the best,
search your heart, ask it what it wants, and
travel there being wary of sports and drinks
that often lead to bonked heads and
puking mess

Poem:

02 Sunday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Alcoholics Anonymous, Mental Health, Poems

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

Depression

So close to fear, sadness is,
“False Evidence Appearing Real” you think
all is wrong—

The only thing wrong is that you are living two
or three days at a time.

Forget tomorrow, live today, write it down,
your schedule a goal, we may only get one more
day so live it fun and free…

Put sleep at the end of it.

Write it down, SLEEP, earn it by doing a few
things, beware the activities that hurt it like
drinking toxins or treating the opposite sex
poorly.

Stealing, breaking the law, it goes against
contented sleep don’t do it!!

Caring blooms and prospers when you strip,
alow people in, love the revolution begun by
God herself—

A concept of revolving, going back as much as
forwards, wildfire spreading at sounds by lips
“I love You” whispered by breeze, heard
like never before up and downstream the Nile
of human betterment.

Manic depression, a frustrating mess until
you categorize everything, believe in all feelings
and accept them all as part the piano, part of
your day…

This is it!! There is no other day. Meds and Docs,
trying to figure it out against gales out to destroy;
leave white coats for the rich, come with me, be
poor, blessed, and rise.

Wake up, do some stuff—go back to sleep.

Wake up, do some stuff—go back to sleep.

Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat,

This is the life we’ve been given, dance
on it, it’s neat

Personal Poem, Don’t Read This:)!!! ;)

01 Saturday Feb 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Dating, Love, Poems, Poetry, Romance

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Peace

First Date

There’s a first for everything;
mine snuck up on me. I didn’t know it
was my first ever date until years after.

Why look back?

Some wonder, I’m sure. Some are content,
happy in now and either don’t need yesterday
or prefer not to look at it—

I love the past, in it are gaps; I fill them up
one at a time, like rhymes the nursery rhyme
crawling up and down the chimney—on time.

Dashing through the snow, she asked me about
the divorce. My parents apart, it seemed right
for her to comment. I was already closed up
by then.

First date, I was twelve, she thirteen, she was cute
her name Jen. What a sport, it all was possible
when my friend called said it’d be a double-
date, and by the way:

“Jen wants to go ‘just as friends.’”

Why for years I didn’t count it a date. But now
years have gone by and I’m so proud it was her,
lucky I was chosen, blessed.

Thank you, Jen, if you’re out there.

The happiness of first anythings is important
to me, the investment is made I hope God
to her much happiness brings!!

First date, a perfect couple of discomfort,
a bridge built, a harmony by me rejected,
prior to puberty and unable to see I could
not dance the dance and be the person
I wanted to be. So I write this against the
wind, looking for a pleasant breeze

First date

New POEM!!

31 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by Bill Watkins in Beer, California, Children, Feminism, Kids, Mater Dolorosa, Nature, Poems, Poetry, Political, Voting

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Joy, Love, Mater Dolorosa, Peace, Sierra Madre

“Mater Dolorosa”

Thank you, the healing power
of belief before me up a hill toward
deer and antelope. Help me play
this prayer a cross-country fire
spreading with wind up and over cliffs
in Colorado, the mountains out of a
Disney ride cutting through.
It’s impossible to think: why we listen
to wisdom on all matters convenient,
turn away from obvious measures of
benefit because we won’t let go.

Let children vote if they can read,
want to, know the issues. Let go.

Better than a drunk man, surly, jaded,
ticked off heading to the polls because
he is of the “right” age.

“Here’s to good friends, tonight is
kinda’ special” and other beer slogans
contributing to killing my friends and almost
helped get me.

Join me in a an anti-alcohol campaign:
“drink flammable liquids and get burned.”
Will that work? Some scoff but forget:
life is making an effort, ask Mrs. Chick from
Dickens’ Dombey and Son, a book about
Dombey’s daughter, hooray for irony
and women’s lib.

Grandma ran for senate in 1936 and seven,
represented California at the republican
convention, got creamed in the primary
but God bless her for trying.

Louise Ward Watkins, a last name you
see on blacks and whites, we mixed in
the middle of the Civil War fight, and
well—

The seed that carried me must have come
out all right.

Praise God, Rise and Shine get the day
but first pray, turn it all over to something
bigger. Results cannot be controlled, just
effort, good luck!!

If life gets you down, write it and sing it
out loud, nothing floors you, this is the
dream of the foremothers that peace
would reign in the land like castles of
sand, always needing attention.

At ease soldiers, take this song and
transcend its message, whistle
something without words, get through
the day to day, and find with me heaven
as a peace of mind of knowing we did
our best…

My best comes without alcohol, trudges
the road of “happy destiny” as the A.A.’s say,
climbs a hill in heat or rain with bags
on my back seeking healing, I’m off
to Sierra Madre’s Mater Dolorosa.

Find your retreat house now, mine
on the other side of fog, rolling down—

I sweat, I tear, I believe say a prayer;
healing is mine before I see the deer.

Do re mi fa so la ti do, before I see the deer.

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