Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Trump Afraid of Success

22 Monday Jan 2018

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-by Bill Watkins 1/22/2018

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Success is a peace of mind, knowing you did your best.
—John Wooden

Some people are addicted to people-pleasing.

Some people are not yet enlightened.

Some people walk the wide path to ignorance, fear and destruction.

Some people are racist because their father was racist.

Some people lie a lot because their father lied a lot.

Some people are violent and support violence because their father did.

Some people are Neo-Nazi/KKK sympathizers because their father was.

Some people are easy marks to be compromised by foreign intelligence operations because they are loose with sex and are highly in debt to foreign banks.

Some people never thought of others, or completed even an hour of community service work, then become the President of the United States because the President of the United States has only age and place of birth requirements.

Some people cheated to get elected by recruiting help from a foreign adversary.

Some haters allowed that to happen because they hated someone named Hillary and another named Obama.

Some people treat objects like Women, man!  Then treat money as a means to filling a never-filled, empty soul of hatred and fear of non-white skinned people.

***

Now, about Donald Trump…

Trump Whispering

29 Wednesday Nov 2017

Posted by in Humor, Parody, Poem, Poems, Poetry, Politics

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Puerto Rico is an island.

Nobody knew.  It was surrounded by
water… Still is, in fact!

You see, folks:

When land stops, water takes over.
Their country is such that it is like
a circle, maybe an oval or a long
donut without anything in the middle.
In fact, the land is the middle of the
donut, and the water is the outside,

like the cream in the center.

No, I don’t divide! We’re going to bring
America back, workers back, because that’s
what I am—I’m going to get rid of all
business regulations, bring coal back!

Clean coal!

Clean coal is like a donut.  Without the cream,
more like a Danish—which is in Scandinavia—
nobody knew!

So clean coal, untouched by Muslims—who
are like a day-old donut you buy at one
of those truck stops.

Those are my people.  The trucker, the worker.
You don’t see them taking a knee during
the national anthem.

They are at the rodeo drinking beer, and hot
dogs—which by the way, sounds pretty good
right now!

McCain hates dogs! Make America Great!

Stand for the anthem. Fake news and
radical Islam is killing us.

We should be friends with Russia!
It’s better to be friends! They stole
Crimea. They stole back their country.

It’s none of my business—I’m a business
man, politics is okay—I’m draining the Swamp!

Pocahontas!

Andrew Jackson was a saint!

Are you tired of winning? So what!

They say the English language is good.

I speak good. Say words no one else says,
and I say them in a way that makes America
great!

I’m sick of winning! And fake news! Look at
them taking pictures in the back!

Fake coal, real news, winning without rules,
bring back Andrew Jackson!

You hear that?

It’s a trail of cheers! That’s how I got an
A on every test. I was a great student;
better than these other guys.

Believe me!

Puerto Rico is in our country, you say?
Well. Maybe.

But it is an island. Very hard to get to, if you…
Here, look at the map.

It’s mostly blue.  Then there’s this tiny bit of
orange and green—that’s the land.

So, Puerto Rico is special—their people
very special, and they are tough and
we will get through this thing.

And women!! Very special.  I love women.

Very special to me.  I’m glad they are
speaking out—I love to watch them speak.
When their lips move, I feel like kissing
them!  And believe me, they kiss back!

I’m winning! Are you tired of winning? Take
our country back for white—for workers!

Like Russia.  They just took back
what was theirs, let’s be friends—

Fake news!!

Trump Conjures Muslim Ban to Fire Yates

08 Monday May 2017

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-by Bill Watkins 5/8/2017

***

Seems a decent theory.

And no one is reporting on this yet.

We often think that criminals are dumb, don’t think too much, too far ahead—don’t know how to play chess with their crimes and cover-ups.

I pose that Attorney General Sally Yates rocked the White House core when she outed Michael Flynn’s behavior on January 26th, 2017.

Then she did it again on the 27th, before the weekend.

***

The White House attorney, McGahn, delivers the bad news to his boss, Mr. Trump.

They kick it around, he and his “staff.”

I pose again:  I believe there may have been a brain in that room on this topic, who could have conceived of a plan to keep Flynn, and get rid of Yates:

“Hey!!  I got it!!  We made a promise to ban Muslims from this country, so let’s roll it out!!”

“What’s that got to do with Yates?”

“Ahh!!  Don’t you see?  She won’t enforce it!!  She’ll call it ‘unconstitutional!!  Then…”

And they all finally got it:

“Then we fire her.”

Trump Ready to Kiss His Job Goodbye

25 Saturday Mar 2017

Posted by in Blogs, Humor, Political, Political Satire, Satire

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-by Bill Watkins 3/25/2017

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According to top sources in and out of the White House, Donald Trump is here to stay.

Further research, though, into Hunch and Conviction has yielded different findings:

That, perhaps, Donald Trump has had enough and is eagerly looking for an exit strategy.

Hunch informed a Little Bird, who made his way past loud helicopters, sirens and all the horrible noise of cities to whisper earnestly of Trump’s first “resignation” discussion with family this weekend.

The news comes in the wake of great disappointment and loss, FBI investigations and Flying Nunes Acts.  “Pulling a Nunes” has, in fact, become a term on The Hill for “confusing the living whodad out of everybody.”

Things really got bad when Conviction reported desperate handshakes between the wounded president and his reclusive recused Attorney General, Jeff Sessions.

Late Friday night, according to White House aides Mo and Schmo, Sessions and Trump relived the salad days of their Russian-aided campaign, playing old VHS-quality videos of rallies, trying to stir themselves and staff with a “Lock Her Up” chant.

Looking around, they remembered their fired friend Michael Flynn, and it made them too sad.

Trump reached for the popcorn, smiled at his bucket of KFC, stating somberly:

“We had a good run, didn’t we?”

Sessions started to well up, cleared his throat for a speech, but went in again for one of those monster handshakes.

Too bad America can’t appreciate Jeff Sessions’ Mr. Dick-like qualities, leave him alone on questions of racism and dishonesty in public hearings.

“You really are a great guy!” Trump asserted, prepping for another big manly handshake before Ivanka came in to remind the boys that it was “time for bed.”

As the new White House babysitter left, Trump snickered at Jeff.

“She really is quite attractive isn’t she?”

Sessions cleared his throat again, sure to come up with something great this time.

Instead went in for another shake, Trump grabbing him warmly.

Mid-embrace, Donald managed:

“Gosh, Jeff.  This is nice.”

They crammed down some last minute Pizza Hut morsels, ejected the campaign tape, considered throwing in their Brokeback Mountain DVD, but aborted to Ivanka’s reprimand from outside the oval office door.

“Come on, boys!!”

And that was it.  But not before Trump got deep with his campaign crony, one more time:

“I think we got about two weeks before the wheels come off, Jeff.  And I want you to know: It was worth it.”

Jeff cleared that throat, sure the right words would emerge this time.

The last thing Ivanka heard on her way down the hall was the clap of hands between her loving father and his buddy, Jeff.

That Devin Nunes greeted her from a service elevator at that moment completed a wonderful picture of fear, collusion, brotherhood and lies.

Nunes said the words Ivanka craved:

“Should I put another log on the fire?”

And only the White House knew what he meant.  And that was the plan.

For two more weeks.

Trump Issues Full Reversal on Obama Wiretap Claim

24 Friday Mar 2017

Posted by in Blogs, Political, Scoop, Trump

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Time’s Michael Scherer Got It

-by Bill Watkins 3/24/2017

Michael's Nail

***

The wiretap logic debate started with something Reuters correspondent Ayesha Rascoe put in her question to White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer on March 7th:

Trump made “declarative” statements on Twitter accusing the previous president, then asked Congress to… “PROVE IT?”

Trump Declarative Twitter Statement #1: (3-4-2017)

Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped” in Trump Tower just before the victory.

Trump Declarative Twitter Statement #2:

This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!

***

Now, the world minus Donald Trump seemed to think those tweets were inaccurate from the moment they were made.

The White House offered British intelligence meddling as a smokescreen at one point, conjuring James Bond, but as happens to so many Trump claims over the years—the smoke cleared to reveal a baseless claim.  And a British rebuke.

Lack of evidence plagues a troubled Trump who on March 4th tweeted that last bit of darkness out of a lonely Florida sky, a day after filmed arguments at the White House.

A day after Sessions “recused” himself to avoid getting fired for lying to Congress about Russian meetings.

A day after right wing babbling on Obama’s desire to bring Donald Trump down a peg, even through illegal means.

***

Michael Scherer’s interview yesterday confirmed what many already knew, that the beleaguered subject of a current FBI counter-intelligence investigation sitting in the White House had made up his March 4th tweets, without evidence.

Early in his interview Scherer traveled a strange promotional gamut with Trump revolving around the self-proclaimed master dealmaker’s strange abilities to predict future events.

Among other grandiose claims, Trump predicted House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes would have new information on “wiretapping” soon.  Was that because Trump himself had initiated the unorthodox Nunes play?

Mr. Trump diverted toward this bash of Time magazine, mixed with self-praise:

And then TIME magazine, which treats me horribly, but obviously I sell, I assume this is going to be a cover too, have I set the record? I guess, right? Covers, nobody’s had more covers.

Scherer didn’t give, issued the apparent 2016 beneficiary of a Russian cyber-attack on Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign this pregnant push:

If you go back to Comey testifying that he and the Justice Department have no information to back up your tweet, the head of the NSA testifying that there is no information to back up your tweet, or the claim made by Judge Napolitano…

Trump got angry, cited a January 20th New York Times story that mentioned “wiretapping,” berated his interviewer Mr. Scherer, making another prediction that the Time writer would “write a bad article because you always do.”

Michael pushed, just as Trump was re-selling another repeated prognostication about Nunes’ new wiretapping information:

And then they just had a news conference now where they turned out, you watch. You watch. 

Michael:

That is different than the president wiretapping you which would be a crime outside of a court.

And that was it.

Michael Scherer went into the history books yesterday because of Donald Trump’s next admission, under pressure from what he would call “the fake news media.”

It could have been Peter Alexander, Hallie Jackson, Ayesha Rascoe, Margaret Brennan, Glenn Thrush, Jonathan Karl, John Roberts, or any other noble reporter—who had all been close to pushing Trump and Spicer over the edge into that most scary place for some inhabiting 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue:  Truth.

But it was Michael Scherer of Time magazine who got his subject to finally break.

Trump was cornered, but did not know it.

Lawyers, Journalists and Cops worth their salt know logic.  Know discrepancies in story. Know fallacies in argument.  And pounce when they do.

Trump:

Well I don’t know where these wiretaps came from.  They came from someplace.  That is what they should find out.

***

To recap, Mr. Trump began with a couple clear declarative Twitter statements on March 4th that accused the former president, Barack Obama, of wiretapping him.

And that he was a “Bad (or sick) guy.”

Scherer helped us find out Trump is full of it again, and we might soon find out more of how he cheated with Russians to beat a strong Hillary Clinton in the compromised 2016 election.

The only “Nixon/Watergate” is coming down the Dakota Pipeline, through the FBI and out Trump Tower like a neck through a noose.

We have a decent country, one that needs to pay its debts to Native America, descendants of slaves, the Kennedy family, a lot of banks, world-wide—

And now to Hillary, who Russia and probably Trump robbed in November of 2016.

On the morning of March 4th, Trump claimed to have “just found out” Obama committed a crime and that Obama was a bad (or sick) guy, then admitted to Michael Scherer yesterday, nineteen days later–that he believes in the crime, but does not know who did it. 

Still no apology to Barack Obama.