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Sorry, folks, this writer is
tired of the bark, the short
life spans, the attachments
then death, the shit on the
lawn, the tearing up your
furniture and pissing on
your new carpet until you
just don’t buy new carpets

In the absence of slaves or
toy robot servants we choose
dogs; in the absence of human
friends to boss around and
cuddle with we choose dogs…
But not I, I just live with them
against my will until I have
enough money or means to
evict them.

Yes, I want to evict dogs from
my life, to leave more room
for God in my life, people,
peace, clean lawns and rugs,
attachments that last more
than thirteen years.  I know if
you are a dog person this might
offend you, and if you be such
too bad.

I think dogs are overrated, and
I say that calmly without being
mad.  They’re great in the store,
cute to cuddle a moment with,
but I currently seek an Isle of
Humans where I can immerse
myself in pure humanity, nature—
dogs are in nature—fine, they
can be there,

On their own island far from mine;
if I hear another dog bark after nine
I think I might take up rock n’ roll
to become deaf on purpose;
to hear them bark my peace away
is to harp on this poem like
brotherly love its Philly cheesesteak,
give me a break, I’m tempted to
eat cheesecake,

An appetite to write without
Scruffy, Biff, Buffy or Pooch
pooping, peeing, and barking
on my birthright… To humans,
All hail human beings!  Nature
fine, over there and around us
fine, but too many dogs on the
block turns my poetry into
unfine wine.

Turning the page, in the peace
of moments when they do
sleep I shine… Until we meat
again, Puppy, I’m sure all my
days you’ll try to follow me,
But I’m working on my clever
zig-zag, so be prepared to
separate, I gotta date, with a
real woman,

Kids on the way, I don’t need
the extra weight!  Adieu, doggies,
you’re cute but too loud, one
way or another I’ll never forget
you.  Good night to all lovers,
this has been a rant in a night
when dogs saw a cat and started
barking without end on top of
and all over my life.