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I had plenty to say about
British invaders “using
natives kindly” and coveting
their land before stealing
it amidst the chaos of
mutiny, rebellion, starvation,
and forced coups in a land
natives called Wingandacoa
but the British vainly called
“Virginia” after their queen.

I had even more to say about
living at LAX airport in a city
most call Los Angeles, but I
prefer the native name,
Otsungna, signifying “place
of the roses;” I lived there,
trying to raise 600 bucks to
catch a plane for London
because Sigi Schmid, the
L.A. Galaxy soccer coach,
never called me to give me
a tryout in 1999.  Instead of
being depressed about that,
I rode my bike to the airport
from Pasadena (Chippewa:
“crown of the valley”), parked
the bike, lost the bike for
twenty-four hours, figured it
was stolen, then it reappeared
magically where I had left it
at the front door to the international
terminal, un-scratched and
unscathed.  So I sold the bike to
a redcap for 250 dollars,
which is how much I needed
to buy my ticket finally,
after camping out at the airport
three days.

I would have written something
about living in psych wards, when
filled with self-doubt and un-
checked alcoholism—how I
literally checked myself in
once at an emergency room in
Pasadena with symptoms
of “Self-Doubt.”  That helped me
to realize that was crazy, and
I slowly began to believe not
that I was crazy, but that I was
alcoholic, and that if I just
refrained from drinking alcohol
or using drugs one day at a time,
all would be fine!  Even if I just
watched TV or a movie, made
that my whole day, it was okay,
and better than doing something
bad like putting mind-altering
substances in my body.

I would surely have tackled
Western Medicine, and how sick
it is.  I frankly think it has serious
health problems, along with
the insurance game littering
its offices, halls and examination
rooms—perhaps why they’re often
too cold with air conditioning that
makes you sicker than before
you left home.  The sicker you
are the better deal health
insurance is for you, so good
luck with that; the healthier
you are, you lose and the health
insurance companies win that
round, so what’s it going to be?
Remember War Games from 1983?
“The only winning move is not
to play…”  From that year I also
remember “Owner of a Lonely
Heart,” Octopussy, Never Say
Never Again—two Bond movies
in one year!  English Beat’s last
year together, Chevy Chase
in Vacation, Harold Ramis
directing the John Hughes script.
I had thirteen dollars to my
name that year and felt rich…

Last, I was going to write
something on an impromptu
date at the post office.  I ran
into Mrs. Right, I’m sure of it,
so why was she hollering outside
the name of some dude, sure
to be a husband or boyfriend?
Could it have been a friend or
brother, and I still have a chance?
No matter what, it was rather
an enchanted meeting, and
I hope to see her again.  Does
that mean if her other guy
sees this poem, he’ll come
after me, email me, threaten
me with violence, if I
don’t stay away from his girl?
It’s happened to me before,
because I try to be true to
my own feelings and let women
decide what they want to do,
and sometimes someone will
let you make moves on them
because they’re bored or
not thrilled with their current
guy, but there is a danger of
ticking someone off, so I’ve
resolved to at the sound of
“I have a boyfriend” staying
generally the heck away,
hoping for romance when the
coast is clear.

I would have written all that!