Tag Archives: Love

“Suicidal” is a Motive for Mass Murder

08 Sunday Oct 2017

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Guns1

-by Bill Watkins 10/8/2017

***

I am formerly suicidal.

It is a horrible, irrational state in which to find yourself.  Bedeviled, truth is clouded, and there is an all-out fight going on for your soul.

“Suicidal” is an unfortunate but perfect motive for mass murder—a perfect storm that can lead someone into a “suicide by cop” situation, a “blaze of glory” of taking other lives down as you kill yourself.

It’s like that drowning victim, who if you’re not careful, will drown you too as they submerge.

The drowning individual must be knocked out sometimes, as I understand, to be saved by a rescuer.  Dying somehow wants company…

***

For this reason, it seems odd that people are still desperate for a “motive” in the recent Las Vegas shooting.

The shooter was suicidal; killed himself after the horrible shooting of others.  A dying suicidal guy doesn’t care!

A total loss of care in life is dangerous to the suicidal, and unfortunately can be fatal to others surrounding that person.

Citizenship Test Should be Required for High School Graduation

08 Sunday Oct 2017

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Diploma image

-by Bill Watkins 10/8/2017

***

I graduated from a very high-rated private school in Pasadena, California in 1990 a full-blown alcoholic heading for college, Phi Beta Kappa honors, division one sports and two drug overdoses.

A straight-A MVP drunk, incapable of intimate relationships, love and ignorant of the Law.

In fact, I routinely broke the law, at times with the attitude of entitlement that comes with being a member of a family that had money.

“What do I need with the law?  I’m a member of a country club!”

***

It’s easy to get off point here, and talk about the trappings of perceived social “class.”  Education-wise, the answer I have for rich and poor, as they journey through grades K through 12 merely adds to my last article and thought—extends from it naturally.

The only required course in all of our schooling should be Law.  Civics grows from that, and from a course and value on civics:

Citizenship.

No student should be eligible to receive a High School diploma without first demonstrating a suitable level of Citizenship.

I’m not referring to a few hours of “community service.”

I am talking about a fundamental respect for and knowledge of our nation’s laws, state statutes and even local regulations.

A willingness to be a legal member of society is more important that College.

“College,” in fact, can be a false god, the great “cure-all” sold to the young and their families.  “If you just get into the right college, all will be great.”

Hogwash.  Wherever you go, there you are.

It doesn’t help you or your college to arrive there with illegal views and practices.

***

A test should be developed.  One to test a high school senior of their law knowledge, and their assertiveness at stating their allegiance to it and our country.

Tack that on to Community Service requirements already in place, perhaps throw in an Interview with school administrators.

The interview would be an oral test to see if the child in question was worthy of a high school diploma, beyond grades received and standard extra-curricular story points.

The idea is to put more meaning into that Diploma; to make it a tougher thing to acquire.

To tell employers and college admissions staff that a young student or prospective employee has undergone great scrutiny, succeeded, and is in possession of a great Proof of Citizenship.

Teaching Law and Civics in Lower Schools

07 Saturday Oct 2017

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Law Image

-by Bill Watkins 10/7/2017

***

The only required course in all of our schooling should be Law.

To pass on law, and make it the study only of lawyers and police officers, is to keep a majority of citizens blind to what governs them.

Ignorance in law is a temporary bliss, fine in the bubble until it bursts…

Private schools and country clubs think Law may be a silly study, as money brings in a false sense of entitlement.  “As long as we are well-mannered and respectful, that’s enough…”

Public schools are set often in the middle of litter-filled, noisy squalor, and “that is what we know, let’s just get our ABC’s and 123’s!”

***

We can do better.  Strive higher.

We need Law in our schools; I have taught it to children as young as five years old. Children love numbers and codes, start with:

California Penal Code 374:

Don’t Litter.

CPC 240:

Don’t Assault.

CPC 422:

Don’t Threaten.

There’s Vehicle Code for wearing safety helmets when riding wheeled devices; kids should be brought up knowing as many codes as possible, starting with the U.S. Constitution and its Bill of Rights!

A great high school course could be made of Friedman’s History of American Law, a very readable text that could lead to many discussions.  “Is that a good law?”  “Why or why not?”  Discussions that lead to full civics reviews, field trips to City Council meetings, projects for writing councilmen and women, state representatives, Congress and the President.

Be a part of this world, not ignorant sheep, waiting for the law experts to manipulate you their way!

A good course in law and civics, schools inserting legal language into their credo’s and mission statements, are actions that will lead to the graduation of better citizens.

In fact, my next article will expound on the need for high school students to pass a Citizenship Test before being eligible to receive a diploma.

Alcoholics On Board!

06 Friday Oct 2017

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The Benefits of Having a
Resident Recovered Person
At Your School

 

Alcoholism1

-by Bill Watkins,
Alcoholic Teacher
10/6/2017

*****

My last education article was about establishing a first name basis with students as a way to maximize service to them.

Now, as I reflect more on the errors of my own upbringing—next to meditating on solutions:

I, more and more, see the value of schools hiring not only psychologists and social workers generally, but counselors specifically qualified for drug and alcohol issues.

The best ones, I feel, are alcoholics and addicts themselves, in recovery from their illness—and ready to talk about it.

Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in the 1930’s, one alcoholic talking to another.  Bill Wilson from New York and a Doctor Bob from Ohio came together, shared stories, and adapted Oxford Christian group’s Six Steps to our modern 12 Steps for recovery.

12 Steps of A.A.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

***

The view within AA thinking has always been that no person can fully understand or help an alcoholic better than an alcoholic in recovery.

Alcoholics know the way down, the way out, and have a unique willingness to share the depths of our problems, while those who are not admitted drunks hold back.

Holding back, hiding truth, not being fully real is a turn off for a depressed or out-of-sorts person, and professed alcoholics often can cut through formalities to root out deep-seated issues, especially if alcohol is involved.

***

Honesty!

Unadulterated truth and honesty… is the first step toward remedy in the life of an alcoholic, and maybe in our schools, as well.

Are we graduating upstanding Citizens, healthy people inside and out?

Are we tracking these students?  Do we know them well enough?

Or are we content to see some grades and a touchdown, declare a child and school fine until the next tragic incident…

One that might have been discovered with an honest drunk in recovery on board!!

Tearing Down the Old School

04 Wednesday Oct 2017

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First Name Basis with Students
Can Yield Results

Students1

-by Bill Watkins 10/4/2017

***

I recently subbed as an assistant P.E. teacher at an L.A. charter school.

Around me in the teaching world are mostly Ms., Mrs. and Misters trying to establish a line of respect between elders and youth.

That is not me.

The old joke is to say that “Mr. Watkins is my father,” which is fine, but truly I come from the Christian ethic of putting children first.

When I show up on the scene of educational environments, the fun and dynamism exists in connecting with and inspiring young people.  Period.

I come to serve them, not the other way around, folks.

The child’s day on campus is king; truly shape and fashion that, leave no yawning gaps between for all you Longfellow fans like me.

Reach out, shake a hand.  Equality has me giving the same type of name you give me, that’s an equal meeting.

“Hello, I’m William, Bill or Billy—what’s your name?”

We are sort of equal now, but I go further to know I am cosmically lower-ranked than the child, Matthew 18 a roadmap not only to love children but to achieve heaven.

“What can I get you?” or “How can I help you?” is the constant attitude I take as I commit to making theirs the best day possible.

A trust establishes, tears may even fall—you learn that things are not great with a child’s life at home, and now the service really extends to help.

***

I graduated at age seventeen from a highly-respected private school a full-blown alcoholic in 1990, on my way to suicidal depression post-college.

The misters and missus’s that taught me did not know who I was.  I got good grades, did well in sports, got to college—did well there,

But No One Knew Who I Was.

They knew my first name, called me by it.  But I never knew theirs, there was a great hold-back, a reserve hoping for respect but ending in a failure to be of maximum service to a young person.

Tough Talking a Dead Shooter

03 Tuesday Oct 2017

Posted by in Murder, Poem, Poems, Poetry

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“Loser” and “Coward” doesn’t help.

Your anger against the shooter doesn’t
help—your judgment just creating more
tension, tension leading to the next shooter
who lets it out with a horrible bang.

Shh!  Judge not, lest ye be judged.

Ye without sin may cast the first stone,
so reach not for stones, you know there
are things within you needing work!

Breathe.  Shh!  It’s okay to just grieve;
then minister to the next super-shy, quiet
would-be shooter.

Often they are children who have not met
a nice person in a while.

Those doing bad things often haven’t
seen a Good thing in some time, if at all.

The Devil is strong, and Wide is the path
to destruction, as the Nazarene carpenter’s
son said.  Many are in trouble, heading
down, so instead of throwing rocks at
the drowned, look up and help!!

Here is the next shooter, there’s the next;
they walk among us now, so pray to
God for strength, and get in the way of
hate!

Look inside you to change, not outside—
with a pointed finger, saying “if only
they, they, they…”  You speak of madmen,
psychopaths to avoid the deep interior
look—look there!

Anger doesn’t work, the killer
killed himself, too—so say a prayer
for his family and soul, to love all God’s
children the goal.

There is no “motive” for mass murder,
as motive implies reason, and we are
in the area of irrational acts,

Like drinking flammable liquids, taking
doctors’ drugs to imply God made us
in a faulty way—

the thought that we can control stuff,
know the unknowable and suddenly
change the world.

Then the world changes, and we spin
around the sun a while, think we did
a good thing.

We are powerless—all of us, so thank
a Higher Power for another day, mourn
the dead who fell from a shooter today,
a hurricane tomorrow—

Life full of death making it all right to
be grateful for life, and folks:

Beware of high crowds, tight spaces,
and going where it seems “everyone else
is going.”

Higher Ranked Than Me

02 Monday Oct 2017

Posted by in Education, Poem, Poems, Poetry

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There is nothing to gain in
putting children down; in making
then subservient to us adults!

Let go of control, and remember
this, our journey, to “be as children,”
to retain the wonder, the dream.

Teachers: we are wise to learn
from children, and go beyond equal
treatment of the young—make them king.

Serve a child, shake hands—give a first
name and serve.  Get them things,
listen and allow them their needs.

The devil gets into anyone—children,
too—so shut down bad behavior as
best you can when in charge of a home

or class.  But come from a proper
place of knowing the devil can get to
us adults, too!  Banish judgment, and

wander onto the side of children as
you “teach,” take in the lessons learned
when you open to the moment,

find God in open minds, and be willing
to see that someone else beside you had
the best idea of the day!  We are children

inside, let that hair down, and keep joy
for life close—live every day as if it were
the very first, put down alcohol, drugs,

resentment and self-pity; these are the
ways Satan hammers the child out of
you, turns us into grumpy puppies!

Ruff!  Shake a child’s hand and bless your
life.  Do them a favor, be a hero in
Longfellow’s strife!  God bless the children

in us, so we can be there for the actually
young!  Tucked in shirts and “respect
for your elder” is not as important

as a humble knowledge of the universal
pecking order.  God or Higher Power
above and beyond, all of us below it,

the young with a special access to the
simple and true—study the child, and you
can be true, too—so give beyond the

sergeant’s whistle, beyond the “getting
them in line,” and make of the young
ones friends, and pass beyond a good time.

It is the road to heaven to be truthful
and full of joy—remember our place,
love a child, and certain peace of mind

is granted to every girl and boy.

Stockley Verdict, St. Louis – 2017

21 Thursday Sep 2017

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A Poet’s Opinion

-by Bill Watkins 9/21/2017

St. Louis Police1

Having watched in-car video of the 2011 shooting, along with a bystander video of the events, and having read an account of the events and known facts from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch—recapped in a heavy.com news article from September 15th…

Here’s what I think, feel, and how I would have ruled—something I used to do when studying criminal law cases and decisions years ago, a self-study law review I made just to be a better person, and to know more stuff!!

Former St. Louis Police Officer, Jason Stockley, screwed up.

I don’t judge him, nor do I jump to the race card with what he did.  Being a victim of multiple acts of police violence and abuse myself, I see in Stockley’s actions typical thuggery and bad acting so prevalent in guns-first, think later cops.

But on December 20th, 2011, Officer Stockley was not the only person to screw up.  A suspect who would become the victim, Anthony Lamar Smith, was apparently dealing drugs, doing dirt—in the wrong place at the wrong time, with a rap sheet to match.

Smith, though a dad of a one-year old girl, I’m sure with good and bad in him—seemed to have the disease that leads too many of us into addiction and the trafficking of addictive drugs.

A lost soul, all the worse when cops roll up—AND YOU GET IN YOUR CAR, BANG INTO THEIRS AND FLEE THE SCENE!!!

Asking for trouble upon trouble, Stockley being one of those cops on scene to break up an illicit deal, it appears.

PROBLEM:

Stockley came to the scene armed with his own AK-47!!!  This is the first sign of unprofessional behavior, and also one of premeditation.

Officer Stockley presented in the video I saw a person looking for more problems than were there, seemed unsafe.

And now we move to a high-speed chase—a VERY unsafe practice through town, the officer’s SUV careening into a TREE before slamming into Smith’s car at high speed.

Next thing, police weapons are drawn, and Stockley shoots four or five rounds into a car, killing Smith.

That is always murder to me, killing is NEVER self-defense!!

(I am a martial artist, I know self-defense, and the goal nor the needs of defense require the cessation of your opponent’s heartbeat.)

That Stockley is suspected to have blurted out his intention to kill the suspect en route during this chase does not surprise me.

Mr. AK-47, a guy who shot at a fleeing car, saying he wanted to kill somebody sounds like all the same guy.

***

I will report now that at no time in my studies have I seen or felt an extra racial component to this, OTHER THAN THE OBVIOUS FACT:

We in this country have mistreated and abused Africa-descended people since they were brought sinfully in chains to the Colonies.

Until white people like myself make conscious financial, emotional and spiritual amends to black people, we will have too many African Americans in inner cities, tempted into living the kind of life Anthony Lamar Smith was living.

Those who dig into the surface a racial element here, reporting “White Cop Shoots Black Hero” are stoking problems, and are not attacking the problem’s root.

The incident is one of thousands that demonstrate a bigger need to make amends for the ancient second sin of slavery in the country, the first being the white man’s treatment of Native American people.

***

THE 20 YEARS sentence that I would give to Stockley based on what this poet saw and could surmise from what I know—is not because Stockley is a racist, but because he is guilty of certain Manslaughter;

Of making a bad situation of drug dealing into a far Worse one.

Of waving a personal AK-47 around on the job, driving at unsafe speeds, and of himself being a greater criminal than the one he was supposed to apprehend and HELP on December 20th, 2011.

Whether or not Stockley “planted a gun” in Smith’s car seems uncertain, although the DNA evidence, if true, seems damning.

Twenty years is what Stockley should have seen, so he can calm down and reflect—read a book or two, pray to God and ask forgiveness for the life of violence he had over time embraced leading to this tragedy.

To exonerate a dangerous person is wrong, and I feel Judge Wilson made the wrong verdict, based on what I have seen, on September 15th, 2017.

Reforming Ourselves

18 Monday Sep 2017

Posted by in Poem, Poems, Poetry, Political, United Nations

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It’s not the ones we hurt who
are at fault and should lead the charge
at making amends.

Former slave traders and owners must
recognize a need to repair the abuse,
crimes and lies—

I’m talking about the “White” bloodline!

If your English or European last name
is donned by an African person, surmise
with me that slave-owning is in your
family history.

Join me, and push for a fund, level the field,
and give enough to apologize for the wrong,
donate money or even a song.

Just admit the fault with me, and watch
karma go up in this country!

“CNN Sucks” is the motto of a favorite
Trump supporter, retweeted by the
former reality show star.

The Twitter user goes by @Fuctupmind,
posted a GIF representing Donald Trump
knocking Hillary Clinton over with a golf
ball.

Excuse me while I mute the screen during
drug ads or anytime the supposed president
speaks.

Right now the Idiot in Chief is whining at
the United Nations to “reform!”

I am giggling at the hypocrisy, anyone from
the peace-hating United States with its covert
war operations and lust for world domination
through military intervention speaking to the
World Peace group held hostage in New York
about reforming.

Them reform!  “Be the change you want to
see in the world,” said Gandhi—but so many
people do not read but for the headlines at
Fox News, news reports that paint your
ideas in a good light.

History is boring, let’s pop some prescribed
pills and watch some TV.

Let’s hit up our doctors for more, I’m sure
I must have ADD, diabetes, cancer in my
membrane—I’m going insane, forget God
and real healing!!

Damn the side effects, I’m on this wide road
to Hell and I like it, it suits me, there is no
afterlife so don’t bother me!

After I hit some more golf balls, then imagine
hitting my enemies with them, I plan
to stop by the club and count my money.

Let’s threaten nuclear war on Twitter, then
go to the United Nations and preach about
reform, we’ll do lunch later—grab ‘em by the
pussy.

Never mind the Indian.  The treaty we broke
to kill them.

Slavery that built the south, was never
compensated for—let’s just pretend it
didn’t happen, train our cops to shoot for
the torsos, “immigrants” must go, which
is great for Native Americans who would
finally be left alone.

Reforming ourselves starts with me reforming
me; look at yourself and what could give
you peace of mind.

Unfortunately, some don’t change—yell their
right to be wrong from the grave.

Left with words and prayer, it seems insufficient
to remember a trail of tears, children bombed
in Birmingham, civilians mowed down at
Amritsar, India—an eight year old girl machine
gunned in Trump’s Yemen raid.

I love you, don’t get me wrong.  I love the child
within the Donald, the abused kid—brought up
racist by an abusive father.

Stand up with me, Trump—come to God with
me, climb the mountain that Samuel climbed
and withdraw our desire to have people leading
people,

it’s time to go back to God.

***

In high school, I was a manorexic hustler begging
for food amongst the rich, with no premonition
or self-delusion of future word surges about
Resistance and change.

It could be a case of Hollywood overreach, but
I dream of meaning beyond the surge—call it
a word Slurpee calling us out of our alcoholes
so Jacked the Ripper misses the glory no more,
mistakes are mistakes;

We sleep in the bed we make, the Last Gasp
of the racist white bigot hiding unprompted
under prompter prompts—a misprision of
Kushner debt, the Russians asking for sanctions
relief while sitting on Crimea’s face, Ukraine’s
base.

We restrict children from voting, even if they
know and care more than us, Hoover’s
corrupt FBI growing thicker by the minute,
even next to Comey apologies, there’s still
a little matter like, I dunno,

Killing Martin Luther King, John Lennon
and the Kennedy’s.  Anyone who got in the
way of profitable war by promoting inconvenient
Peace!

Girthy homicide leading to noise-polluting
planes, helicopters committing more crimes
for law than the criminals they seek, wild animals
running for the hills, commit suicide in the creek,
Freud’s id—

Say a prayer for our pilots, who thought it right
to fly loud and fast and high in the night.  Sunday
driving, polluting at sunrise, whatever I feel like
doing—it’s my world to lies supply!

F the bible, Tao Te Ching and the quiet, losers
all of them—I’m happy in my Hell!

So reform, all you sinners at the UN
who whine about world peace, follow
me, my hair and undisclosed tax returns
to the bank, bring a camera—a nuclear war
could be good for ratings!

I forgive you, Donald, but can’t speak for
God if you drop another bomb on suspects
of terrorism while they sleep, the eight-year
old girl you murdered redeemed in this
Tweet—

Call it a tweet storm, a moral sleet, hail,
Donald Trump, who was last chosen first,
God bless our abused and confused

on this long return to our youth.

Unjustified Homicide

16 Saturday Sep 2017

Posted by in Gun Control, Murder, Poem, Poems, Poetry

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There is never a “reason” to kill, only
sin and breaking the sixth commandment,
(if you’re into those) and if you’re not…

Welcome to Hell.

***

Raskolnikov knew it well, the Dostoevsky
character damned the moment he raised
the axe.

And the police officer does not need to be
ruled a murderer by a court to be that,
folks, the crime goes punished, I now
assure you.

It is wrong to kill—the ultimate judgment
of another human being as less than you
and not worthy to be here.

You are no one to make such a judgment,
police have no justification for murder,
not one, not ever.

The old argument was that if he had a gun,
I get to kill him.

I smashed that in another poem called
“The Old Argument,” look to non-lethal
weapons and real self-defense, yes the
kind without reckless preemptive Offense,
yes, the sanity and good actions that take
you to heaven.

Restraint, moderation, holding back and
humility. Restraining from judgment, from
rash irrevocable payback, you were scared,
pulled out a gun, shot, and said it was fine
because of your badge.

The “president” (not mine) talks of
“cowardly attacks,” the “losers” we created
abroad and at home that kill, created by
our judgments, our tweets, our covert
bombing in the night, extrajudicial murder
of suspects, and satellite targets in the street.

“Take him out” lauded and applauded in a movie
house as the Department of Offense kills
another suspect.

Nevermind the murder. Nevermind the family,
friends of the dead—never mind the rise of
worse terrorist acts in the place of your man,
“taken out.”

We need to think deeper, speak less, listen
more and pull the United Nations out of a
peace-hating United States.

That or hold God in our hearts, fire Samuel
and the message the Jewish people gave him
to have a king to be like other nations.

Make God our king (he or she’s already mine),
Bill Maher and other atheists neglected to
the dictionary read, where “God” is there in
black and white, no fight,

It’s a Good Concept, this G.O.D. if nothing
else, Good Orderly Direction and help for those
who feel a need to connect to a Higher Power
than me.

Believe what you want, think what you think,
reap what you sow and sow what you reap.

You cannot escape the punishment of killing
humanity, you can’t, you try when you tweet,
CIA bragging they can go where others can’t,
accomplished what others can’t—

like murdering our own president.

In 1963, we went from bad to worse, from
human elections to murder’s erection, the
sad transfer of power to the devil at the top—
CIA interventions.

LBJ a Vietnam puppet, a racist killer who signed
Civil Rights up to shut them up, who had to
put something on the board to hide his gory
sword, greed and gore, setting up a bombing
spell Nixon cherished, racism gathering steam,
gosh can we kill Jack Anderson, that kike reporter,
we’ve done everything else murderous and evil to
kill the American Dream!!

Hunt, Gordon Liddy and the boys from CIA, the
FBI under Hoover no peach, killing MLK and
Freedom of Speech, John Lennon in our
sights, Reagan must have a clear path to
murder all the kikes.

You can’t change the world, Lao Tu was right,
but you can try.

End all the violence in your own heart and
mind, that’s the real fight. Gandhi, MLK, from
Jesus and turn the other cheek.

Warriors without guns have the real balls on
the street.

Cowards you say. Cowards. Like relying on your
gun instead of your brain.

Losers. Losers you say. God bless you to
stop judging others, and I promise you won’t
be judged.

Until then, Trump, and all the bastards who
skipped the book in school:

Shhh! Stop talking. Talking without knowing
is for fools.

Take your gun and violent way of life, flush
it down the toilet, be a hero in Longfellow’s
strife, a poet in the night, be as the Arabs
who pack their tents at the end of a great day,
steal no more, Away!!

God bless us to books and what they contain,
Mrs. Chick’s effort, John Wooden’s peace of
mine, even his 2-2-1 fullcourt press if it helps
you with yours, mine is mine.

I love you in your sin, don’t get me wrong,
Cowboy, I was just like you.

I used to be a strong coward for the right,
in favor of dropping bombs on enemies
like they were not people, but flies.

I’m sorry to God for this, the LORD a great
forgiver if you give a chance, pray earnestly
from your knees, CIA, admit the sin, and see
and feel the pain no more,

Raskolnikov to Siberia but truthful, Sonya
loyal to his truth and sinning heart until
the end.

You ask why but you know—she sinned too.

We are nothing until we admit the truth.