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By Will Workinson


Hello, my name is Will.

That never seems to impress anyone, but I say it anyway because it is sort of true.

I steer away from absolute truths most of the time because they can be somewhat boring and inconsequential.  I write comedy pieces a lot, which hardly anyone likes.  I am better at poetry, maybe because I was named in part after William Shakespeare by parents who never read.

Years ago, I read in an old second hand bible that Solomon had many wives, but also had written Proverbs—one of them exalting the “Wife of Your Youth” and that you should rejoice with her, be with her, honor her, etc.

Then Malachi came along and warned for us not to “deal treacherously with the Wife of Your Youth…”

I am currently seeking my fourth wife with vigor, despite these warnings from the bible, one of which especially suspicious due to one of the warner’s polygamy.  One thing I’m pretty sure of:

Little Billy, Tommy, Ricky, Mike, Jonathan, Suzy, Penelope and Roberta will be so happy to find a proper mom.  If you are out there, give me a call!!

I tend to carry my kids around like luggage, which I’m sure they appreciate and enjoy.  They seem to like multiple Christmases and zig-zagging all over the country to be with their moms and their families.  I never sit down and ask them how they feel, but I have a sixth sense about such things and know they love the adventure of it all!

I fall in love a lot, and am not too into vows and commitment.

Would you consider hanging out with me and being my fourth experiment?